Monday Messages
2024
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Dear Friends,
Leading up to the election I, like many of you, heard all sorts of predictions of what the future would be like if either this candidate was to win or that one was to prevail. Now after the election I’m still hearing from many of you, in predictable ways. Some who supported Trump are telling me how wonderful our Middle East policy is going to be while others who supported Harris are telling me how awful the justice department’s policies will be. Everybody is so certain that the future they envision will surely come to pass.
We human beings thirst for certainty. The present is uncertain so we want to have some sort of assurance about the future.
Will our entire world change in this new administration? Yes. But probably not in the ways that you expect, and probably not for the reasons you expect.
The most significant events of the Biden presidency were events that the President and the administration could neither create nor stop: the invasion of Ukraine, October 7th, the overturning of Roe v Wade. Who even a week ago would have predicted that the 50-year reign of the Syria’s Assad regime would fall?
Yogi Berra said, “You should be careful about making predictions. Especially about the future.”
The wheels of change move slowly and uncertainly. No one knew that better than our ancestor Jacob. In this week’s Torah portion, Vayetzei, Jacob has to leave the comfort and the structure of his parents’ house and he sets out on a journey alone. That first night he lies down to sleep by the side of the road with only a rock for a pillow. He has so very little.
But that night he has a dream that is depicted in the mural the colorful mural near TI’s sanctuary. Jacob dreams of a ladder reaching from earth to heaven, with angels going up and down it. Jacob wakes up and says, “Surely God was in this place and I didn’t even realize it.”
Then Jacob says something very interesting that often gets overlooked. “If God sticks with me on this journey, and protects me and feeds me and clothes me and brings me back home, then truly Adonai shall be my God.”
These are the words of a man who is not so certain about the future. Even though Jacob senses that God was in this place, he’s not entirely sure that he fully believes. And he does not know what the future will bring. He just knows that he wants some company along the journey.
I would advise that that is a good teaching for us. We should all be a little less certain about what the future will bring. We should strive to make peace with uncertainty. And we should take heart in the company that we have along the journey: We have one another, and we always have God.
L’shalom,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,
A few weeks ago, on the day before Kol Nidrei, and just a few days after the first anniversary of October 7th a swastika was etched on the football locker of a Jewish student at Weston High School. Now a swastika etched on a Jewish student’s locker is different from a swastika drawn, for example, on a bathroom stall or the seat of a school bus (both of which have also happened locally in recent years) because this is a targeted act.
But the story I want to tell you is not one of persecution and anti-Semitism. Instead, this is a story of resilience and pride, and about the great faith we should have in the next generation.
The student on whose locker the swastika was etched — a student who grew up here at Temple Israel — was brave enough to inform coaches and the athletic director. Then later that very evening another Jewish student on the football team — also a Temple Israel student — recorded a courageous and emotional message to his teammates about the impact this swastika had on him, and he posted it on the team’s internal chat. The school administration and town police swiftly coordinated a thorough investigation according to the policies and procedures that they have in place. Ultimately the investigation was inconclusive; we don’t know who etched the swastika.
A group of TI teens had recently formed the Jewish Student Union at Weston High School, and they swiftly jumped into action. They approached the principal and administration advocating for a schoolwide assembly to address the incident. These teen leaders envisioned, shaped, organized, executed and led that schoolwide assembly on Friday morning. They demonstrated initiative and leadership throughout the process. The assembly included words from the targeted student, the testimony of a Holocaust survivor which was paired with an engaging video, and a message from Senator Blumenthal that the students them themselves had reached out and obtained.
The students also asked me to speak so I taught about the power of symbols, which not only stand for something concrete but also invoke certain emotions and feelings. I showed a series of symbols on the screen and asked students to share what that symbol made them feel. When we got to the swastika, Jewish students were able to share in front of their peers how the etching of a swastika on a Jewish student’s locker made them feel targeted and how the act reverberated throughout the Jewish community of our town. Finally a representative from the ADL taught about strategies by which one can oppose hate.
The assembly was an excellent and impactful educational experience for the entire school. I want to underscore that the students themselves envisioned, created, shaped and ran the assembly from start to finish. And I credit the school administration for trusting and support them, and for giving them the opportunity to stand up and lead.
I am so very proud of the TI teens who took action following this antisemitic incident. When the response to an act of hate could have been fear or silence, what the high school community saw instead was courage and pride. Each of them — starting with the one whose locker was targeted, continuing to his football teammate, and then to the many leaders of the JSU — provide a model for all of us.
Many of them began in our Early Childhood Center and all of them were (or are) students in our Kesher program. They embody what success looks like for all our children: to be knowledgeable and proud Jews, and when the time comes for them to act in the world they do so with courage and integrity.
Thanks to them, even in these trying times which can often feel very dark, we know that the future is very bright.
L’Shalom,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,
As many of you surely recall, on Yom Kippur my message to the congregation was that no matter who we vote for and no matter the results of the election, each of us has crucial Jewish civic responsibilities in the years ahead.
It is up to each of us to ensure that the White House and Congress are committed to Israel’s security, support Israel’s right to defend itself, provide the very best military aid to Israel, and will not hesitate to take action against Iran and its network of allies.
It is up to each of us to ensure to ensure that both political parties remain pro-Israel. It is up to each of us to oppose both the radical antisemitic far right and the illiberal anti-Zionist progressive left.
It is up to us to nourish the liberal values and democratic institutions that have been crucial to the flourishing of Jewish life here in America.We treasure Jewish life because of the values that guide us in every generation. So as the transition from one administration to the next begins, it’s important to note that while our world will always change, the values upon which our congregation stands and acts remain constant.
We will continue to love and support Israel.
We will continue to fight the renewed antisemitism of our era, in every setting from which it emerges.
We will continue to build resilience in ourselves, so that we can face a world that sometimes seems stacked against us.
We will continue to instill Jewish pride and Jewish joy in our children.
We will continue our commitment to inclusivity, protecting the rights of LGBTQ individuals, women, minorities and immigrants because we know that each individual’s presence in our community and in our nation matters.
We will continue to lean into Jewish ritual, which lifts us with sacred music, prompts us toward gratitude, and imbues our lives with meaning.
We will continue to draw from the depth and richness of Jewish tradition to help one another thrive, to teach us to live a good life, and to guide us in improving our world.Shabbat shalom,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,
Voting is a mitzvah. Our tradition has always emphasized the importance of using our voice to participate in our elections, and to not “separate ourselves from the community.”
We therefore encourage each member of our community to participate in today’s elections, if you have not already done so.
We likewise believe every member of our country deserves to have their voice heard, and are grateful to all of you who joined us, as our TI community wrote 1,150 letters to voters all across the country encouraging them to make their voices heard this election season.
You can find information about your local ballot, polling location, and candidates at myvote.ct.gov. That’s also where you can also find information about the proposed constitutional amendment in Connecticut which would lower barriers to absentee voting, and is also on ballots across our state.
Please join us as we fulfill an essential mitzvah today by voting.
L’Shalom,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman
Cantor Julia Cadrain
Rabbi Elana Nemitoff-Bresler
Rabbi Zachary A. Plesent
Cantor Becky Mann -
Dear Friends,
Ten days ago I stepped off the bima after services on Friday night, turned on my phone, and immediately learned that Israel was in the midst of its long-awaited attack on Iran. This was big news, and I was riveted. I went home and spent the entire evening and much of the next day absorbing as much news and information as I could find. I read with great interest about the complex mission involving over a hundred military aircraft operating over 1000 miles from Israel’s borders. Israel achieved complete domination of Iranian airspace, carried out “precise and powerful” (in the words of PM Netanyahu) strikes, and brought every single pilot and plane home safely. In addition to the military targets Israel destroyed, Israel demonstrated the capacity to strike any number of other targets in the future. All of this made me very proud.
Then throughout last week I saw headline after headline about the ongoing war in Gaza, many of them about the horrifying civilian toll of one Israeli strike or another. And I couldn’t click. I just didn’t want to know.
In last week’s Torah portion we are introduced to Noah, and we are told that he lived amongst a generation of people who were doing nothing but evil all the time. Yet the Torah notes – and our sages emphasize – that even when everyone else was doing wrong and when it would have been very easy for Noah to follow them down that path of evil, Noah made a different decision. Noah was better than everyone around him. He held himself to a higher standard.
Noah’s story is a perfect description of how we the Jewish people, and the State of Israel and the IDF conduct ourselves in times of war. We hold ourselves to a higher standard. We only go to war for just a just purpose, we fight only to protect our citizens, and we use our power very carefully. Yes, we hold Israel to a high standard, and the IDF holds itself – as its soldiers and commanders will tell you – to a higher standard.
That’s why it was so hard for me to click on those headlines about civilian deaths in Gaza last week. It’s also precisely why it’s appropriate at this point to ask questions about the war in Gaza – perhaps questions we haven’t yet been willing to ask. From the beginning Israel’s leadership has been clear: the goals of the war in Gaza were to eliminate the Hamas leadership and to bring our hostages home. Well, Sinwar was killed two weeks ago and the Hamas leadership has been decimated, though it will probably never be fully eliminated. And sadly we seem no closer to bringing our hostages home. Meanwhile more IDF soldiers fell in battle this week. I learned that at one point this week there were 34 active houses of shiva across Israel for fallen IDF soldiers.
We wonder what we are still trying to accomplish in Gaza, as our own young men die, and as innocents suffer. So we are justified in asking questions. Israelis themselves are asking questions. Even Israel’s Minister of Defense Yoav Gallant is asking questions. Here I note that Lebanon is a completely different story. There the army is swiftly and effectively dismantling Hezbollah’s infrastructure and its ability to strike at Israel.
I invite you to come to TI this Sunday, November 10th at 9am to meet IDF Major Itzik Yanai. He is third in command of a paratrooper battalion, and took a few days off from his military service to be our tour guide on our congregational mission to Israel last winter. Itzik has been in service almost continuously since October 7th – first in Gaza, then in the north, and most recently in Lebanon.
So if you want to hear about the standard to which the IDF holds itself and the standard to which Maj. Yanai holds his soldiers, as well as the details of the operations they have been carrying out in Gaza and Lebanon, please join us to listen, to inquire, and to learn more than you ever thought possible. I am truly looking forward to it.
My guess is that Itzik will say that regardless of how any other army or nation may conduct itself in times of war, we need to answer to ourselves and to the values of our own Jewish tradition. Personally, I was willing to lower those standards just a bit in order to accomplish the worthy goals of the operation in Gaza. But I’m not sure I am anymore. I want to know that sufficient care is being taken to balance military objectives with the cost in civilian lives. I want to know that Israel’s leadership is asking themselves how many more young soldiers we are willing to lose, how many more houses of shiva we are willing to sit in, and how many more parents must lose their children or wives must lose their husbands. I want to know what the end game looks like. How does this war end? How do we bring the hostages home? And what does the day after in Gaza look like?
I am so very proud of the IDF. I want my children to grow up to be proud too. I want those outside the Jewish community to respect the way Israel operates in war, and I even want them to be grateful that the IDF is keeping us all safe from the threat posed by Iran.
And so we pray: God, protector and redeemer of Israel, bless the State of Israel which marks the dawning of hope for all who seek peace. Be her loving shield, a shelter of lasting peace. Guide her leaders by Your light of truth. Strengthen the hands of those who build and protect our Holy Land. Deliver them from danger; crown their efforts with success. Grant peace to the land and lasting joy to all of her people. Amen.
L’shalom,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman
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Dear Friends,
Jews are not to celebrate the death of any human being. Our tradition is clear about that.
In fact, this is one of the most significant features that separates us from Hamas – they regularly celebrate death. They celebrated as they massacred our people. They celebrate the death of their own so-called “martyrs.”
But we never do. The death of every IDF soldier, the murder of every hostage is mourned – never celebrated. And, we mourn, too, for the death of innocent civilians caught in the crossfire of war.
Yet, there’s no question that the death of Hamas leader Yahya Sinwar means we can breathe a little bit easier. Israel is restoring its threat of deterrence. Israel has made it clear to anyone who intends to destroy us, that no matter where you are, we will get you.
If there is anything to be glad about it is that Sinwar’s death gives us renewed hope. Hope for the return of our hostages, after more than a year of captivity. Hope for the conclusion of the war in Gaza, now that the important stated aim of removing the Hamas leadership has been achieved. And hope that we might somehow begin to turn the page, to begin to put the trauma of October 7 behind us, and that we might begin to envision the next chapter for the State of Israel and for our people.
Mo’adim le-simcha – may these days of Sukkot bring us joy,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,
As I was greeting Kesher parents last week a congregant pulled me aside to ask a private question. He leaned in and asked in a low voice, “That pager and walkie-talkie attack in Lebanon… Is it okay to feel good about it?”
He was asking such an important question. He was not solely concerned, I believe, with the potential that such an act might provoke retaliation and a wider conflict. At this point it seems like our worst fears on that front have not been realized — at least not as of yet. He was more concerned, I believe, with the morality of bloodshed.
In this week’s portion, Nitzavim, which is also the portion we read on Yom Kippur, God says, “I have set before you blessing and curse, good and evil, life and death. Choose life.” Was this the choosing of life?
For the 70,000 Israelis still displaced from their homes in the north, in temporary housing, with children in temporary schools, this was choosing life.
For the IDF soldiers who do not (yet) have to conduct a ground offensive, this was choosing life. For the millions of Israelis who have been in and our of their safe rooms and bomb shelters with each incoming missile, this was choosing life.
None of us take any pleasure in the shedding of blood. Yet I told him I thought the attack was crafty and bold and that it made me proud. We know that Israel needs to project a deterrent force in the Middle East. Our enemies need to know that we will not sit idly by.
Biblical scholar Jon Levinson compares the creation story in the Torah with other cultures’ creation myths. He notes that in the other creation myths the divinity often conquers evil on the way to creating the world. But in our story God exists alongside evil. God’s role is to create order out of chaos. God limits the evil, but never vanquishes it completely. The Torah teaches that evil is part of our world; God simply wants to keep it at bay.
On October 7, Hamas’ pure evil spilled into our laps. The border that was supposed to keep evil out failed. Israeli intelligence and the army failed; they have told us that. Evil chose us. And it pains me — it pains all of us — that the way Israel now needs to choose life is through war and air strikes and commando raids and targeted assassinations. All of these are unfortunately necessary to preserve the ability of the Jewish people to live.
That’s why Israel’s actions in Lebanon are justified and necessary. For God, the choice between blessing and curse, between good and evil, between life and death carry a moral valence. God emphasizes: choose goodness, choose blessing, choose life.
Sinwar may still be breathing somewhere under the rubble of Gaza. But we will find Haniyeh in Tehran, and we will strike at Nasrallah in Beirut, and we will do the same to anyone else who threatens us.
Sadly, that is the reality of what it means for Jews and the Jewish State to choose life here at the close of the Jewish year 5784. But it is our prayer always that one day we will be able to choose life and peace.
Ken yehi ratzon — may it be so.
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,
I have been very fortunate to be mentored by a number of excellent rabbis. But the individual who has most significantly influenced my sermons is not a rabbi at all.
Abigail Pogrebin is a prize-winning author, an incisive journalist, a former president of Central Synagogue, and one of the most important thinkers in our Reform Jewish world. For those reasons alone, I am thrilled to welcome Abby Pogrebin and her co-author Rabbi Dov Linzer to TI next Monday, September 23 at 7pm for a conversation about their new book, It Takes Two To Torah: An Orthodox Rabbi and Reform Journalist Discuss and Debate Their Way Through the Five Books of Moses. I invite you to join us for what will surely be a special and memorable evening.
More significant to me personally, I was fortunate that during my time at Central Synagogue Abby was willing to devote so much time to me. She was my informal “sermon coach.” To this day, when I sit down to write a sermon, Abby’s voice echoes in my mind – nudging me, prodding me, reminding me, inspiring me. She says:“Why does our congregation need to hear this sermon now?”
Abby taught me to focus on the specificity of a sermon. I am not a rabbi-in-general delivering a sermon to a congregation-in-general. I am a rabbi of this particular congregation, in this particular place, at this particular time. A sermon that does not answer this question is not worth delivering.
“Get to the point.”
My early drafts would come back with entire paragraphs (sometimes entire pages!) excised by Abby’s red pen. At first I was horrified. She was relentless in cutting through what she called “rabbinic drivel.” No one wants to hear a rabbi tell you everything they know on a topic. She emphasized that my job as a rabbi is to know our tradition thoroughly, distill it, and teach it from the bima as concisely as possible.
“Keep it moving.”
Abby taught me to relentlessly seek the most concise way to make a point – and then cut a few more words. Like any good show or movie, a good sermon has to have pace and momentum. When a sermon dwells too long on any one point, people lose interest.
Cut to the core.
Any issue or topic is like an onion, layered with depths of understanding that can be peeled back one by one. A sermon is not a good one until it gets as close as possible to the Jewish core of the issue at hand.
Come meet my mentor Abby and her friend Rabbi Linzer next Monday for what is sure to be an entertaining and insightful evening. You may even get a peek into what made me the rabbi I am today.
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,
Standing in front of my congregation at 13 years old remains a proud and formative moment in my Jewish life, and it can be one for you as well. Did you know – b’nei mitzvah don’t only happen at the age of 13. If you did not become b’nei mitzvah as a child for any reason – you weren’t interested and didn’t feel a connection to the community, you may not have been offered the opportunity because of your gender, or even you weren’t yet Jewish – there is still an opportunity to do so! This Friday night at 6:30p, I invite you to join us for Shabbat Services and to celebrate the b’nei mitzvah of two adult members of our community, Andreina Bauer and George Kleros. They have been working diligently to prepare for Friday’s service and we are so proud of them.
There are many wonderful reasons to become Adult B’nei Mitzvah at Temple Israel. As George says, “…my bar mitzvah is a further step on that journey that has helped strengthen my feeling of truly knowing what it means to be Jewish.”
If you would like to learn more about this process and if this is of interest to you please send me an email at zplesent@tiwestport.org. I am compiling a list of folks who are interested in order to form our next cohort.
Hope to see you Friday night, and in future Adult B’nei Mitzvah classes!
L’shalom,
Rabbi Zachary A. Plesent -
Dear Friends,
The terrible news of the murder of six Israeli hostages in the tunnels beneath Gaza was yet another blow, another moment of grief and sorrow in a year all too full of such occasions.
Two thousand five hundred years ago our prophet Jeremiah sat on a hilltop outside Jerusalem, watching the city burn. It had been conquered and sacked by the Babylonians. And he lamented, “Hashiveinu Adonai eilecha ve-nashuvah, chadesh yameinu ke-kedem. Let us return to you, O God, renew our days as in the past.”
This verse has become iconic in Jewish tradition, in part because it speaks to two essential human desires.
First, it speaks to our desire to turn back time. We think, if only we could go back, we’d do it better: we’d savor the moment, we’d be kinder, we’d hug a bit longer. Or, to frame it in in the words of my kids, “Can we have a do-over, pleeeease?!?” Children may sometimes get a do-over but unfortunately, we don’t. We cannot go back in time.
Second, it speaks to the essential human yearning for the good old days. Our brains have a way of making the past seem better than it was when we were experiencing it. I define nostalgia as the fond remembrance of a past that never really existed.
Our sages later adapted Jeremiah’s line and made it a hallmark of our High Holy Day liturgy, a call to return to our better selves, to be close to God, and to look forward to better days.
As we move toward the conclusion of this Jewish year, Jeremiah’s words are especially resonant. We have been through a lot this year. We might have the urge to forget this year as if it had never happened. But that’s impossible. We cannot unsee what we have seen. We cannot unknow what we now know. The yearning for a simpler and safer time, we know, is fruitless.
But we are not the only ones who have been in this position. How many times before has a Jewish community – or the entire Jewish world – endured a trauma and come to understand that there is no going back. The only thing we can do is to put one foot in front of the other and move forward, knowing all that we now know, and carrying all that we now carry, into a new Jewish year.
And so like Jeremiah we say, chadesh yameinu ke-kedem. But instead of asking God to return us to the good old days, it is especially appropriate this year to re-translate this verse: “Help us start anew, O God, as you have so many times before.”
Ken yehi ratzon – may it be so.
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,
At the opening of the Book of Numbers we read of the census that was taken of the people of Israel. We are counted by beit avotam, “ancestral houses.” The word “house” can mean a literal dwelling, or it can mean a family, a tribe. This was a fitting section of the Torah to read this past Shabbat, as we honored Temple Israel members of 36 years or more – the ancestral houses of our shared Jewish home.
Every home needs a cornerstone, a rock. Our longtime members are truly the rock upon which our congregation is built. In the Hebrew Bible, “rock” used in many ways: it provides shade in the punishing desert sun, it provides water to a parched land, it is a fortress of protection. “Rock” is even one of God’s names, used in our Prayer for Israel and Israel’s Declaration of Independence.
Psalm 118 says, “The stone the builders once rejected has now become the cornerstone.” I thought about that verse when I thought back to the very first High Holy Day sermon that I preached at Temple Israel 10 years ago. It was, as some of you know, a difficult period of transition for Temple Israel. For some this place had ceased to feel like home, or you wondered whether TI would continue to feel like home in this new chapter that was just unfolding. I had all of you in mind when I wrote:
Rabbi Larry Hoffman teaches that the entire Torah can be summarized as a story about coming home. In the beginning God creates a garden that He hopes will be home for us forever. We ruin it and have to wander. Abraham is called by God to leave the only land he has ever known and go to a new home where, we are told, he will become the father of a great nation and his descendants will be a blessing to all. Three generations later, Joseph is ripped from his home and sold into slavery by his brothers. Later he provides sanctuary for his family in the midst of a worldwide drought, and they build a new home in Egypt. But Egypt was not to be home for long. Soon we were treated as strangers, oppressed and enslaved, eventually freed through wondrous signs and portents. We then trekked for 40 years through the desert to get to the place we would finally call home, the land of Israel.
The story of the diaspora has been one of cycles of wandering and settling, always seeking a home. Every few generations our ancestors had to pack up their belongings and start walking. The place they had come to call home no longer felt very hospitable.
And for many of us, Temple Israel is home. This is the bima on which you became bar or bat mitzvah, or were Confirmed, or were married. This is where you sent your kids to nursery school, and where you made friends when you moved to town. This is the sanctuary in which you mourned the loss of a parent or spouse. This place has been part of your life for decades.
We all know what it feels like to come home. Home is where we find comfort and rest and security. Home is where we finally exhale as we walk in the door at the end of a long day. Home is where our most cherished memories are made. Home is a place where each of us is known personally. It is a place we go to recharge. A place where we feel comfortable enough to be honest about who we are. A place that helps us get through tough periods. Home is a place where, when you call, you know someone will answer.
Temple Israel has been the place where we ask the essential questions about life, where we celebrate the core values that guide us, where we embrace Jewish uniqueness, where we bind our community together, where we learn, where we love. A place where we ask the questions that burn deep within our souls. And Temple Israel has given us a connection to something larger than ourselves – a community, a people called Israel, destined to carry out the mission of being a light to the nations, and destined too sometime to wrestle with God. Temple Israel has added value, depth, purpose, friendship and love to our lives in so many ways. We can’t imagine our lives without it.
And we cannot imagine Temple Israel without all of you – our longtime members. Collectively, all of you are the rock and the foundation upon which our congregation proudly stands. Some of you know that layers of rock had to be blasted away in order to flatten the property upon which our congregational home was built. But a portion of bedrock was left exposed by the outdoor patio. Therefore it is entirely appropriate that we dedicate the exposed rock outcropping by our patio in honor of our longtime members. We plan to install a plaque that reads,
To our longest tenured members
of 36 years or more
the BEDROCK of our congregationKen yehi ratzon, may it always be so.
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,
We live in the world as it is, but in prayer we often envision and verbalize the world as it could be.
For months, each Friday night, we have counted the days of our hostages’ captivity and prayed for their release with a blessing borrowed from elsewhere in our liturgy: Baruch atah Adonai, matir asurim – “Blessed are you, God, who frees the captive.” This Shabbat, God lived up to that ancient description, answering the prayers of the entire Jewish people. I often take Shabbat morning as a break from the news so when arrived at TI on Saturday morning I was shocked to learn the miraculous news that four of our hostages were courageously rescued by Israeli forces.
That morning our bar mitzvah, Brett Fortunoff, spoke about parashat Bamidbar in a d’var Torah that he had worked on diligently over the past few months. He said, “The IDF is a reflection of the importance of standing together as a community to protect ourselves and our loved ones, just as the Israelites did in the wilderness in the Torah portion Bamidbar. Right now, the soldiers of the IDF are operating in Gaza, trying to find the hostages and defeat Hamas for good. To me being a proud Jew is feeling like you belong and fit in the Jewish community whether you’re in Israel fighting in the IDF or here at Temple Israel with us today.” Later that day, our Havdalah bar mitzvah Julian Benmosche likewise spoke about the unique nature of Jewish identity, the supportiveness of the Jewish community, and the ways in which we demonstrate our commitment to God. Both of their words could not have been more appropriate for a miraculous and celebratory day.
I noted in my sermon on Shabbat morning I noted that while the United States is founded upon lofty goals such as freedom, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, the State of Israel exists for a much more prosaic purpose: to keep Jews safe. Israel’s government and army failed catastrophically in this basic aim on Oct 7. The heroic rescue of Noa Argamani, Almog Meir Jan, Andrey Kozlov and Shlomi Ziv – at the cost of the death of commando Arnon Zmora and several innocent Palestinian lives – is part of the repair of that breach.
I pray that along with Brett and Julian – and our five Confirmands on Friday evening – we will continue to raise a generation of young people who are proud to be Jewish, are knowledgeable about Jewish history and the Jewish present, are committed to a secure and peaceful Israel, and who have the courage to stand up to evil wherever it may be found.
Am Yisrael Chai,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,
After October 7, our congregation’s relationship with Bridgeport Islamic Cultural Center – built so thoughtfully over many years – went to zero. BICC is Connecticut’s largest mosque, and after October 7 they sponsored rallies and publicly amplified voices chanting all of the terrible anti-Israel propaganda with which we have become familiar. Following months of silence, a small group of Jewish leaders reached out to leaders at the mosque expressing our interest in some kind of dialogue to address and hopefully repair our relationship.
We began tentatively, with one-to-one conversations that stayed far away from Israel and Palestine, Gaza and Hamas. We focused on this year’s overlap of Passover and Ramadan, on our family traditions, and on our families’ stories of immigration and acculturation to America.
Then last Wednesday we all sat down together for a more intense and challenging group dialogue about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. The facilitator asked us, for example, to share a story about how our view of the conflict was shaped, or a time when the values that shaped our view of the conflict were in tension. Parts of the dialogue were less difficult than I had anticipated, while other aspects were more difficult. We’re far from done. But as I have found so often to be the case with interfaith dialogue, the experience helped me better understand what it means to be a Jew.
I noticed that our Muslim colleagues often shared stories of Palestinian victimhood. Meanwhile, we Jews chose to speak more often of compassion. In fact, it was Yousef who was the first to bring up Jewish victimhood when he told us about his visit to the Anne Frank Haus in Amsterdam. None of us rabbis had brought up Jewish victimhood, though we certainly know that we have very often been victims. This made me realize that we Jews don’t often speak of ourselves as victims. And I wondered why this is the case.
This is especially true in Israel. There, the official name of Yom HaShoah is not simply “Holocaust Remembrance Day,” it’s “The Day of Holocaust Remembrance and Heroism.” A common Israeli expression in business and in traffic was lo lihiyot freier, “don’t let yourself get taken advantage of.” These examples are core to the ideology of what it means to be Israeli. Although the Jewish State was born out of the victimization of the Holocaust and has survived repeated attacks by those who would have annihilated it, Israelis refuse to see themselves as victims.
The same is true for us American Jews. For example, what’s the joke about the story of every Jewish holiday? “They tried to kill us, we won, let’s eat.” It’s true of Chanukah, Purim, Passover. We completely skip over the victim part.
Even in last week’s Torah portion, Bechukotai, stresses that we have complete agency over our fate. We can follow God’s rules and receive blessings, or we can misbehave and receive punishment. When misfortune befalls us, it’s not because we are victims of certain outside forces, it’s because we brought the punishment upon ourselves.
I love this Jewish view of who we are and how we should be in the world: strong, capable, full of agency. Yet I wonder why we’re so reticent to speak about ourselves as victims. Are we scared? And if so, what are we scared of?
I think we’re afraid that if we portray ourselves as victims, people will victimize us. So instead we portray ourselves as resilient, as heroes. This helps us cope, gives us agency, and warns off those who would do us harm.
Sadly, we live in a world in thrall to an ideological and political dichotomy (however harmful and false it may be) between the powerful and the powerless, the oppressor and the victim. It has stunned me that there seems to be no room in the world’s definition of “victim” for Israelis, for Jews, for the 1200 murdered on Oct 7, for the 290+ IDF soldiers who have fallen, for the over 125 hostages still held underground in Gaza. We who avoid calling ourselves victims fall on the wrong side of this unfortunate dichotomy, and end up labeled as oppressors.
But if we don’t use the word “victim” for ourselves, who will? I am caught in conflict. It would make me uncomfortable to suggest that we should start referring to ourselves as victims. At the same time, if we can’t speak about being victims, does our victimhood even exist?
L’shalom,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,
The past month of campus protests has created a deep sense of unease.
We are aghast at the delegitimization of Israel, the blatant antisemitism, the targeting of Jewish students, and the refusal of universities to afford Jewish students the same basic protections that other groups readily receive.
But it is more than this.
The acceptance of Jews into elite universities was a sign of our acceptance into American society as a whole. Admission was a not only a symbol of our success but an assurance of our security.
Now the very institutions that helped American Jews feel at home are rejecting us. Now the very institutions that helped us achieve security are erupting with violence and declining to protect us.
Each of us will need to reckon with our own shattered sense of safety. We wonder how we will ever feel fully secure and fully accepted again.
We will need to work for years to reverse the antisemitic worldview that Jews can only be oppressors. Ironically, after millennia of persecution followed by a mere few decades of success, will need to work for years to re-create room for the Jew in the world’s definition of victim.
As I approach my 25th college reunion this weekend, I look back on my experiences at one of those elite universities during an idyllic time: my confidently Jewish fraternity, our rousing Shabbat dinners at Hillel, my explorations in Judaic Studies courses and Hebrew language, my affinity for Jewish social justice efforts. I am grateful that I could be Jewish however and whenever I wanted, without a second thought, and certainly without any concern for my social status or physical safety.
However, I find myself wondering:
If I was a college student today, how might my life unfold differently?
If I was a college student today, how might I express my Jewish identity differently?
If I was a college student today, would the possibility of becoming a rabbi ever enter my mind?I know that I will continue to wrestle with questions such as these for a long time to come. But as I have often noted, that is a very Jewish state of being.
L’shalom,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,
The First Amendment has been crucial to the success of Jewish life in America. Our right to gather as we please, practice Judaism as we choose, and say what we believe has enabled Jewish life to flourish as it has nowhere else outside of Israel.
Today the excruciating campus protests test our commitment to the First Amendment as never before. On the one hand, protesters are exercising their First Amendment rights to gather, speak and petition. At the same time, law and morality are clear: there are limits to each of those freedoms.
Last week I sat with our Confirmation Class of 10th graders as we thoughtfully explored the slogans and demands of the protest movement, along with the response of universities and law enforcement. In particular, we wrestled with the importance and boundaries of free speech. We parsed the difference between noxious free speech (speech with which we disagree, but would feel compelled to defend another person’s right to say), harmful speech (which may be legal but is deeply hurtful to a person who hears it) and hate speech (which is outright unlawful). I stressed that our aim should not be to curtail free speech, but to be vigilant about its boundaries and to demand the same protections for ourselves that others receive.
As one way of addressing this most urgent issue of our day, TI clergy is inviting all college and high school students and their parents to a gathering on Tuesday May 21 at 7:30pm entitled Addressing The Climate on Campus: An Open Forum For Students and Parents. We hope to create an opportunity to share experiences on campus, ask questions, and continue to explore where the boundaries of free speech and free assembly may lie. Most importantly, I want us to continue to nurture the courage to live proudly as Jews, even in the face of anti-Zionism and antisemitism.
Today is Yom HaShoah, Holocaust Remembrance Day. In Israel this is a day not only to remember the horror of the Holocaust but also – and very significantly – to recognize the many heroes who risked their lives to save Jews. Yom HaShoah reminds us that while evil is sadly an inevitable component of God’s creation, the human capacity to courageously oppose evil is always within our grasp.
L’shalom,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,
It all started with making bracelets. When a group of teens saw Kesher students making bracelets to raise money to support Israel, they started making bracelets too. Soon, they realized there was so much more they could do. Together, they began fulfilling the Jewish principal mitzvah goreret mitzvah, “one mitzvah leads to another.” This one mitzvah led to a deluge of mitzvot, far surpassing anyone’s expectations.
Over the last year I have had the privilege of witnessing the teens in our community fulfill mitzvot by shifting from cautious participants to active leaders of social action. I am in awe watching them overcome fears, stand up for what they believe in, reach out with open hands, and embrace their Judaism and their values. I want to share just a few of the moments that have made me proud:
One of our teens, who attended a trip to Washington DC to lobby Congress, has a fear of public speaking and was initially hesitant to attend. With encouragement from TI staff, she overcame her fears and was able to lobby about rising antisemitism. When she returned we spoke about the trip, and her growth was evident as her radiant smile lit up the room.
Another group of teens attended an immigration justice trip to Arizona this winter. After returning, one teen reflected “I enjoyed bowling with my friends, but I wish we had spent more time dropping off food for people who were hiding in the desert. We could have made so much more of an impact.” I was left speechless by this teen’s selflessness.
Our BBYO (youth group) chapter has taken on tikkun olam (healing the world) in momentous ways, including through participation in Midnight Run, a volunteer organization dedicated to finding common ground between the housed and the homeless. Many of the teens entered the experience with trepidation. One even asked, “I haven’t met a homeless person, what are they like?” Just hours later, this teen was dancing alongside a woman we were serving. On the bus ride home, another teen told me, “I gained more than I gave”.
Our teens’ hard work and dedication was celebrated this winter when they won a number of awards, including the BBYO Connecticut Valley Region’s Service Shield and the International BBYO Stand UP Gemilut Chasadim Award for chapters that show exemplary social justice work. Our Ozeret (Social Action) Board Chair, Madison Cohen, also won two individual awards: The International Anita Perlman Stand UP Award and the Connecticut Kahal Community Service Award.
Following our teens’ lead, I have worked towards incorporating social action into my own life, with a focus on small acts of selflessness. I have been reminded that it is okay to step out of my comfort zone, especially when that means helping someone in need. I am moved to see Jewish value of “mitzvah goreret mitzvah,” “one mitzvah leads to another” coming to life as the teens inspire me to take a more active role in giving back. If you too are inspired, I encourage you to join us on Sunday, May 5th at Temple Israel’s Mitzvah Day, where you can learn more about how to serve our community. Let us take our cue from our teen leaders, reaching beyond ourselves to make a positive and meaningful impact on the world around us.
Yours in pride and gratitude,
Kate Cykman
Director of Experiential Education -
Dear Friends,
Israel mounted a stunningly effective and successful defense of its citizens and territory over the weekend. While I will leave it to experts to speak about the military and geopolitical ramifications, I will note that there are a couple of points of which we should take pride and reassurance.
Israel is strong and resilient. After the disaster of Oct 7 it was essential for Israel to prove to itself, its citizens, and the world that its defensive capabilities are second-to-none. Israel did exactly that, as its air force and missile defense systems were impressive against a major regional threat.
Israel has reliable allies. Military forces from the US, Jordan, UK and France participated in Israel’s defense, while several other nations such as Saudi Arabia and the UAE actively aided the action through intelligence and other means of support. While Iran seeks to destabilize the region through its proxies Hamas, Hezbollah, the Houthis, the Syrian government and others, we saw that Israel is at the center of an anti-Iranian coalition that seeks stability and a brighter future for all in the region. The coordination and effectiveness of Israel and its allies should strengthen our confidence in Israel’s security moving forward.
Closer to home, I’m grateful that TI’s Israel Engagement Group is working diligently and passionately to provide ways that our congregation can continue to support, heal and rebuild Israel in the aftermath of Oct 7. I look forward to sharing more about their work in the coming weeks, especially as we approach Yom Ha’Atzma’ut – Israel’s 76th independence day – next month.
May Israel long continue to be strong and resilient, with the support of staunch allies and friends.
Am Yisrael Chai,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Today I am sharing the remarks I made on my 10th Anniversary Shabbat last Friday.
It is hard to believe that it’s been 10 years. That’s probably because from the very start this place has felt like home. Simply put, I have loved being your rabbi.
Tonight I want to offer a few thank-yous and then tell a story.
Thank you to each and every one of you who is here to celebrate with me tonight, either in person or online. And thank you to the many more who could not be here tonight but who reached out via email, text, phone or handwritten note in recent days.
Thank you to the very best team: to my partners in leadership, Cantor Cadrain & Bryan Bierman; to our clergy team, Rabbi Plesent, Rabbi Nemitoff-Bresler and Cantor Mann, who let me dream up crazy ideas; to Stephanie Schwartz who brings so many incredible moments and experiences to life; to our staff, including Noah Zeitlin who always makes us look great, Lindsay Weiner and Geri Stone who lead our incredible ECC; Kate Cykman and Lilach Levy who lead our growing Kesher program; and to our administrative staff, Lani DeBoer, Eric Gluska, Karyn Jusino and Erin Simon. And to our facilities team, without whom not a single thing could ever happen: Troy, Lester, Jesse, Greg, and to our security team for always keeping us safe: Tim, Tony, Dexter and James.
In the rabbinic tradition we often say we simply stand on the shoulders of those who can before us. Thank you to my predecessors, Rabbi Bob Orkand and Cantor Richard Silverman, for nurturing and building this wonderful congregation, and for supporting me with grace in this next chapter.
To my colleagues Rabbi PJ Schwartz & Rabbi Danny Moss, who helped me learn and grow as a senior rabbi and who helped our congregation become what it is today.
To the dear clergy friends who came to celebrate with us tonight: Rabbi Matt Gewirtz, Rabbi Mo Salth, Rabbi Evan Schultz, Rev. Bernard Wilson, Pastor Phillippe Andal.
To the presidents under whom I have served: Steven Phillips, Gary Schanzer, Eileen Berenyi, John Kaufman, and soon Ellen Greenwald — thank you for your wise guidance, your calm patience and most importantly your friendship.
To all those who currently serve or previously served on our Board of Trustees, thank you for your trust and support.
To my parents who are here with us tonight, thank you for everything you did, which enable me now to do this.
And to Haley… After our very first visit to TI, as we were heading back to the city, we had barely merged onto the Merritt Parkway when you turned to me and said, “Just in case you haven’t realized it yet, this is the place.” In fact, every single good decision in our lives is because of you. There’s only one person who edits my sermons, only one person whose opinion truly matters. Few can fully appreciate the sacrifices that a rabbi’s spouse makes for the benefit of the congregation. I can only say: God only knows what I – and we – would be without you.
And now I’d like to share a story I once heard David Wolpe tell…
There was once a delegation of American Jews who went on a mission to Eastern Europe one winter in the mid-1980. This was the era of the Iron Curtain. Jewish life there had been nearly wiped out by Nazis, then suppressed by Soviets. In every city and town the delegation visited it found empty synagogues, hollowed-out Jewish quarters, abandoned Jewish cemeteries. It was cold, it was dark, it was bleak.
One afternoon as the delegation was exiting yet another lifeless synagogue they glimpsed the most unusual sight. An old man – clearly Jewish because of his dress and hair and beard – was joyfully dancing down the street, singing to himself, smiling broadly, and without any kind of jacket, just in shirtsleeves.
“Sir, are you okay?” they asked. “How are you possibly so joyful in this environment? And aren’t you cold out here in the middle of winter?”
The man replied, “Let me tell you a story…
It was many years ago, and I was just a small boy. One winter night we got word that the Cossacks were about to attack our village. So the parents herded all of us children into the rabbi’s house in the center of town. Then they went out to defend us.
We were instructed to find a place to sleep on the floor, and I curled up in the corner of the rabbi’s study. All the other children went to sleep, but I couldn’t. It was so very cold, and I was so very scared. The rabbi heard me shivering, and he quietly made his way over to me. He bent down to me and whispered, “My good boy. Don’t be afraid.” And he took off his coat, and he laid his coat over me. And I went to sleep. And our village was saved.
And all these years later that rabbi’s coat still keeps me warm.
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman
-
Dear Friends,
A few years ago I began to notice that all sorts of unexpected items were now being sold via vending machines. I found this to be especially true at airports, where I’ve noticed vending machines offering $300 headphones and others that only sell slices of various layer cakes.
This got me thinking about how we normally buy Jewish items. Judaica shops are lovely, especially if you want a beautiful seder plate for your Passover table or a new tallit for a bar or bat mitzvah. But they generally don’t offer the small items we need to live a Jewish life day-to-day. I started to ponder whether a Jewish vending machine might be possible. I began to imagine what it would look like, where it might be placed, and what it would offer for sale. Then I put the idea aside for several years.
Today, thanks to the diligent work of Rabbi Plesent, who sourced and designed the machine and its inventory, and the support of our congregation’s leadership, I’m incredibly excited to announce that Temple Israel has created The World’s First Jewish Vending Machine.
Our vending machine will offer everything you need to live a Jewish life and will put all of Jewish tradition and practice within easy reach.
You can buy Shabbat candles, havdalah candles, yahrzeit candles or Chanukah candles. Yes, lots of candles. You can grab a single-serve bottle of grape juice or a locally-baked mini challah. You can pick up a cool kippah, a mezuzah, a scroll for your mezuzah, a Jewish star necklace, a Chai, or freedom tags (the necklace that shows solidarity with our hostages). You can nosh on an Israeli snack like Bisli and Bamba, or try packaged seasonal Jewish treats.
All are invited to take part in the Grand Opening on Friday, March 22 at 12:30p. Anyone can take part in this incredible new Jewish experience, not only by making a purchase from the vending machine but by suggesting an item for the machine to vend.
Suggest an item here I’m so proud that our congregation continues to be a place where we treasure tradition while pursuing Jewish creativity and innovation. Here’s to seeing The World’s First Jewish Vending Machine help Jewish life thrive for years to come.
Am Yisrael Chai,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,
It took us mere moments to link October 7 to the Holocaust. It was not just the number murdered that prompted this. It’s that October 7 turned us back into victims.
Each of us carries buried deep within our soul generational memories of Jewish persecution. And October 7 aroused all those terrifying memories at once.
The promise of Zionism was that it would solve the problem of Jewish victimhood. Israel and the IDF were supposed to be the tikkun, the repair, the solution to Jewish vulnerability.
That’s why as I visited the site of the Nova Festival on our congregational mission last month – I sensed a terror that I had only experienced when visiting the camps of Europe. I felt a tragic Jewish helplessness that the State of Israel was supposed to erase forever, as the embodiment of “never again.”
October 7 represented a catastrophic failure of the essential purpose of the State of Israel – which is first and foremost to keep Jews safe. Israel’s promise to her people – to all of us – was, for a day, shattered.
We were stunned and traumatized to have been victimized so brutally. And we are again stunned and traumatized to see how the world all but ignores our own victimhood. It’s as if the world is telling us that Jews cannot possibly be victims, again.
The antidote for victimhood is the application of power. So we launched a war – rightfully, and justly – to bring the hostages home, to defeat Hamas, to restore our own power of deterrence in a very violent neighborhood. And just as importantly, we also launched this war to resolve and repair our own victimhood.
We have rightfully been focused on our own victimhood. From my experience during our recent visit, Israelis are solely focused on keeping their families safe, and restoring the security of their nation. I’d want exactly the same thing if I were in their shoes. In fact, there’s a significant part of me that only wants to address the need for Israel’s security and healing. Israel must repair its own victimhood, restore its military deterrence, and bring the hostages home.
But in recent days I have started to wonder if the focus of Israel’s leadership may be a bit too narrow. We are victims, in all the ways I’ve described. What’s also true is that innocent Gazans are victims too. First, they are victims of their own leadership and of their own decisions. Second, they are inevitable victims of Israel’s war against Hamas. And at this point Israel is responsible for minimizing the war’s impact upon them.
The IDF is incredible. Its leaders and soldiers can never get enough credit for the integrity with which military goals are being pursued in the most difficult of environments. However the IDF is not perfect; no military is. And thus it’s unavoidable that civilians will suffer or be killed. One awful example happened last week, as Gazans crowded around an aid truck.
Now we are on the verge of the last stage of the war, entering Rafah. There is so much at stake. I have argued forcefully on this bima that we are fighting just war, and fighting it justly. Now that will be put to the test.
Rafah is complicated in every possible way. Rafah, we’re told, is where the hostages are held and where the Hamas leadership is hiding. These are the two stated aims of the war: returning the hostages and removing Hamas leadership. The question is, Can Israel hold its head high in victory and remove the stain of victimhood without achieving either of these?
Rafah is also the corner of Gaza into which Israel has evacuated the civilian population. Thus Israel now has the responsibility to do everything it can to ensure their safety. And we here in America have the responsibility of asking, Is there a credible humanitarian plan in place for these 1.2 million human beings, who are now vulnerable and dependent on aid? The moral clarity and high ethical standards of Jewish tradition – which we love and cherish – is at stake.
Also at stake is the moral respect of the world. The current government of Israel had already lost moral credibility in the eyes of many Israelis and American Jews. When the moral leadership of a nation is discredited, any action that leadership takes is likely to be questioned as well. And we know all to well that Israel’s actions reflect on us.
Of all the aspects of Judaism that we love, our lofty ethical and moral tradition is among the most significant. We love the high standards set by our Torah. We know we hold ourselves to them and that our mission is to make them manifest in the world. So in some way our own beloved Jewish ethics are at stake now as well.
For example, our Torah teaches that if you see that your enemy’s ox or donkey has fallen into a ditch, you must help them. Note that the Torah does not say, “your friend’s” ox or donkey, or even “your neighbor’s.” It specifically says “your enemy’s.” Yes, the Torah insists that we are commanded to see the humanity even of someone who opposes us. That is the grandeur of the moral tradition we have inherited and which we are entrusted with proudly upholding.
The challenges before us are daunting. Can we honor and tend to our own victimhood, while being mindful of innocent Gazans’ victimhood as well? Can we hold ourselves and the Jewish state to the highest ethical values of our Jewish tradition?
I have said many times that optimism is not a Jewish value. Instead, we believe in hope. In fact, the prophet Zechariah declares that we are prisoners of hope. It’s as if we’re fated or sentenced or somehow chained against our will to hope. Hope is the understanding that even though everything is a mess right now, we have the power to make it better.
Yes, the Judaism we love is built on power: the power to defend ourselves and redeem our victimhood – and the power to make the world better, the power power to lift up, the power to beat swords into plowshares in fulfillment of the prophetic vision that one day lifelong enemies might become friends.
Ken yehi ratzon, may it be so.
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,
“This was oxygen for my soul and stitched up my broken heart.” These words, shared by a congregant at our concluding program last night, perfectly summed up our mission.
As much as this trip gave us, so many of the Israelis we met gave us the gift of expressing their appreciation to us for being there.
I knew I needed to be here, but I didn’t realize just how much. I needed to mourn at Har Herzl, witness the Nova Festival memorial, and feel terror as I entered the replica Hamas tunnel in Hostage Square. I also needed to experience the vitality of Machane Yehuda, pick bushels of lemons in an orchard, and bask in the sun for a moment in Herzilya.
We came home knowing that every single Israeli Jew is fighting the war. Some are risking their lives, but everyone is fighting — for their children’s future, to hold their community together, to provide for neighbors and strangers, to simply do what needs to be done at an impossibly difficult time. On several occasions, we joined groups singing HaTikvah together, outdoors, in public. It was an expression of our commitment to embody the words of the prophet Zechariah, who calls us, “prisoners of hope.” Despite everything, our shared fate, shared vision for the future, and shared destiny as Am Yisrael points us in the direction of hope.
Am Yisrael Chai,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,
Our experience in Israel has been more than we ever could have imagined. It feels like we have condensed two weeks of experiences, stories, learning and participation into just a few days.
In particular, Israel today is a series of public participation in the Jewish rituals of death. In the span of just one morning, we spoke with the father of Aner Shapira z’l, one of the many heroes of Oct 7; who participated in the public accompanying of the family of a recently fallen soldier to his funeral; and visited the graves of fallen soldiers at Har Herzl. As I type this, our itinerary sounds macabre. Although it was unquestionably sad, there was also a clear sense of pride, purpose, unity, mutual support, and that most powerful of Jewish senses: memory. Even in the presence of death, one feels the essential vitality of the Jewish people.
After all of that we helped sort clothes for evacuees, visited with first responders, and learned from one of the world’s experts on the Israeli Arab community.
Late in the evening we visited the Kotel, where I brought colorful notes written by our 3rd and 4th grade Kesher learners.
As I carefully tucked their notes into crevices of the wall, I thought about the simple and sincere prayers of our children — may they all live long, impactful, resilient and proudly Jewish lives.
Am Yisrael Chai,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,
We knew our day in the Gaza Envelope would be intense, emotional, and exhausting.
We began by volunteering with New Guard, which is organizing groups to fulfill agricultural needs. The fields and orchards of southern Israel used to be tended by foreign workers and Gazans with security clearance. Now they are relying on volunteers like us to harvest Israel’s bounty. We were given quick instruction, a pair of gloves, and big buckets, and were pointed down to rows of lemon trees teeming with fruit. IDF artillery boomed in the background and Apache attack helicopters flew overhead. In the row next to us was a brigade of paratroopers, on their “day off” from Gaza. On our other side was a group of yeshivah girls from Boca. And here we all were in the fields of Kfar Maimon together.
We then visited and ate lunch with a Givati brigade who spend each night transporting supplies and troops into and out of Gaza. We broke bread together, listened to them share their experiences, and gave them gifts from our community. We also snapped a group photo featuring a poster created by our Kesher learners.
Our next stop was Kibbutz Nirim, which was among the most severely impacted of all the communities the terrorists infiltrated on Oct 7. Fortunately, “only” 5 people were kidnapped, 5 killed, thanks to the bravery of certain residents and soldiers. Additionally, 25 buildings destroyed and 45 more were severely damaged. The residents are still displaced from their homes, along with residents of 21 other kibbutzim from the Gaza Envelope. We met with leaders of Nirim and the larger kibbutz movement who are trying to figure out how they can rebuild and re-establish their community.
The site of the Nova Festival has become a homemade memorial and a gathering spot for families, soldiers, and visitors like us. There I sensed a sickness in the pit of my stomach that I have only felt at Auschwitz and other camps. I could only think, Israel was founded precisely to prevent scenes such as this. As we gathered to depart, someone suggested we say kaddish together. It was of course the only fitting Jewish response.
Zichronam livracha — may their memories always be a blessing.
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman
-
Dear Friends,
Our itinerary in Israel is full of places I’ve never been, and may never have had the opportunity to visit.
Yesterday evening, as soon as we stepped off the plane, we went straight to Danny’s Farm, an “island of calmness” that specializes in helping soldiers who are suffering from combat PTSD. The Ministry of Health estimates that there are an additional 300,000 individuals who are suffering trauma as a result of Oct 7, including, of course, many soldiers who have served in Gaza. In addition, in the room next to where we were sitting, a support group of 18 mothers who lost children at the Nova Festival. Most of the professionals at Danny’s Farm are volunteers; nonetheless, it costs $1,000 to provide an individual with a 10-month course of treatment.
Many of you have asked how you can be part of our mission from home, or how you can support people we meet along our journey. Some of the most important organizations, like Danny’s Farm, have just recently become crucial institutions due to this crisis, and have focused their attention on providing acute care and support rather than navigating the bureaucracy to acquire 501(c)(3) status. Thus, the best way for you to support the organizations we will be telling you about (if you choose) is to this will be to donate to my or Rabbi Plesent’s discretionary fund. We will distribute all donations received this week to the organizations on the ground that we are meeting with during our trip.
Donate here This morning we are heading to the Gaza Envelope to volunteer in the agriculture sector, meet IDF troops, and bear witness to the atrocities of Oct 7. We will have much more to share after what promises to be a very significant day.
ד׳ש Dash,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,
Rabbi Plesent and I are writing this sitting at the El Al departure gate at JFK on Sunday night. We’re aboutto travel with 19 other participants from TI and TCS on our solidarity mission to Israel.
As soon as we could process the shock of Oct 7, I knew I would be on a plane with TI congregants as soon as it was feasible. Every time I depart for Israel I feel invigorated, as I do tonight. At the same time, I’m apprehensive because the Israel I know and love isn’t the same. While I hear that work meetings, school plays and traffic jams are once again part of daily life, I also hear that the joy of life is understandably missing. We know we will feel a range of emotions over these next four intense days, but I wonder if some measure of joy and comfort will be possible to find. I certainly hope so.
We are traveling in order to be witnesses to the trauma our people have suffered.
We are traveling knowing we will be inspired by the strength and resilience of our Israeli siblings.
We are traveling to physically do our part in the fields of the kibbutzim, with refugees who have been displaced from their homes, and with the families sitting vigil in Hostage Square.
We are traveling on behalf of all of you. I have heard from so many of you who wanted so badly to come with us, but for various reasons weren’t able to travel on such short notice. We’re bringing your hopes and passion with us, and look forward to traveling to Israel with you another time soon.
We plan to send daily communications from our trip. Our hope is that you will be able to feel that in some small way you are “with us” on this mission. We also will be providing ways you can “take part” in the work of healing and rebuilding our homeland.
Israelis might conclude a note like this with the acronym dash — “sending peace,”
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,
Today is certainly an appropriate day to highlight one of TI’s most important ongoing social justice commitments and to invite you to take part in an important way.
Since 2016, we have been part of the Interfaith Refugee Resettlement Coalition, a partnership of several synagogues and churches. In 2016, we welcomed the five members of the Almasri family from Syria. In 2021, we welcomed the extended Gharmal family of 11 Afghan refugees. And in 2023, we welcomed the Masri and Alaia family of 9 from Syria.
Overall, we have made great progress in helping this family get settled in the US. Together with our sponsoring group, we have helped the family move into a furnished home in Stratford. The children are enrolled in school, the adults are all learning English, some now have driver’s licenses, and they are learning to navigate US healthcare and financial systems.
That said, we have not achieved our goals of helping the adults find adequate employment, and it is here that we need your assistance. In short, each of the adults is still in need of a full-time job. The goal is for each adult to have a full-time job where they can continue to learn English, better understand American culture, and begin the path toward financial independence. Still, our ambitions are modest: a minimum wage job with learning and growth opportunities would be great.
With that in mind, below is a short bio for each adult. If you have potential interest in hiring one of them or have any leads for employment, please contact Linda Mandel (phone: 917 273 9297) or Dr. Jay Horn at email: irrc.jobs@gmail.com.
Jamal Masri is 32 years old, with a wife and baby daughter still in Syria. Jamal has a degree in Electrical Engineering and has worked in various jobs involving small and home electrics. He has also been a humanitarian aid worker in Turkey. Jamal is fluent in Arabic and Turkish and is continuously improving his English skills.
Abdalla Alaia is 47 years old. He and his wife have three young children with a fourth on the way. He has previously worked as a tailor. Abdalla is fluent in Arabic and Turkish and has conversational skills in English. Abdalla is currently continuing his English training.
Ibrahem Masri is 35 years old with two young children, including a month-old baby boy. He has previously worked in computer and phone repair with some soldering experience and would be open to assembly line or data entry work as well. Before leaving Syria, he was a Sergeant with administrative duties. Ibrahem is fluent in Arabic and Turkish. He also has conversational skills in English and is currently engaging in intensive English training.
L’Shalom,
Michael S. Friedman -
Shalom,
We arrive at the midpoint of our Kesher year in a great place. While many of you experience Kesher on a weekly basis, we are proud to share some of our successes with the entire congregation.
We are thrilled to have 420 students (and counting) enrolled in Kesher. This astounding number of students has prompted us to continually re-imagine how best to creatively serve our students and utilize our building. We have over 40 of our 8th-12th grade teens serving as madrichim (teen aides). We love seeing the impact that they make on a weekly basis in the lives of our younger students.
More important than our enrollment numbers are the incredible moments that blossom within our building. Let me share a few with you.
FAMILY LEARNING
Our 3rd and 4th grade mishpacha b’yachad (family together) program brought our families to the grocery store as they learned about food insecurity. The families learned that even grocery shopping is a holy experience. At the end of the program, we donated all the food bought to Jewish Family Services and their mobile food pantry.POST-B’NEI MITZVAH
Last year, every seventh grade student but one stayed through the year, returning week after week to celebrate becoming b’nei mitzvah with their class on Tuesdays following their ceremony. This year, I was in the office talking to a parent, Cliff, about Kesher as his son Lucas finished his final Bar Mitzvah lesson. Cliff said Lucas was grateful for his education but expressed doubt that Lucas would want to return after the ceremony. After I told Lucas that we’d start learning about Israel that upcoming week, he announced to his father that he would be at Kesher the next week. His desire to learn more and go deeper is not unique; many of our students have expressed that they find the post b’nei mitzvah classes to be even more rewarding, and are enthused to keep coming back.OUR TEENS
A few of our madrichim told us that they didn’t love attending Kesher while they were younger and never thought they would come back of their own accord. One madrich, Jonah, said this: “Having faced challenges with my behavior in Hebrew school as a child, I can relate to the difficulty some kids experience at Kesher. As a madrich, my goal has been making the time students spend at Temple Israel more enjoyable regardless of behavior. I also feel it is extremely important to educate the future generation of Jews to be proud.” Many of our madrichim are just like Jonah, demonstrating their love for our community and enthusiasm for helping our younger learners develop their own positive connection to Judaism.EDUCATORS
We are so fortunate to have a group of educators who inspire our students every week. Let me introduce you to one of them. After completing conversion classes with me, Amy decided that she wanted to continue her involvement in Jewish education and commitment to community by teaching one of our 2nd grade classes on Sundays. She is dynamic, looking for new and different ways to engage the learners. Her dedication and Jewish pride are powerful. We love having her as our educator and our students learn so much from her.HEBREW LEARNING
For in-person Hebrew, we have students from multiple grades in one room. After struggling for weeks, one student had the opportunity to help another younger girl with her Hebrew. She demonstrated increased confidence and her pride in helping someone else shined through. And the other girl shared that she felt like she had a big sister at Kesher. We cherish the community and connection we’re building one friendship at a time.These are just a few of the many stories of success we’ve seen at Kesher. The spring semester has so much to offer and we cannot wait to see what else happens.
With enthusiasm for the future,
Rabbi Elana Nemitoff-Bresler
2023
-
Dear Friends,
Each year I make sure to teach our Confirmation Class (10th grade) about the danger of moral relativism.
We have all raised our children to approach the world with openness, acceptance and inclusivity. We have raised them to respect the decisions and identities of others. So it should be no surprise when in response to questions about ethics our teenagers say something like, “Each person should determine what’s right for themselves.” This is a fine approach to flavors of ice cream. However it’s a terrible approach to morality.
Moral relativism is the idea that no concept or action can be right or wrong on its own, but is only defined as such by the culture or period in which it takes place. This is exactly the standpoint that was on display two weeks ago as the presidents of Penn and Harvard testified on Capitol Hill. In response to questions about whether speech calling for the genocide of Jews would violate their university’s standards, they now famously said, “It depends on the context.”
Judaism has a very different point of view. Judaism rejects moral relativism of any sort (ie, beyond statements about genocide of Jews) on two compelling grounds.
First, our tradition insists that there must be objective measures of good and evil. The Hebrew Bible describes a period of lawlessness, anarchy and evil as a period of time in which “Everyone did what was good in their own eyes.” This is precisely the language of moral relativism, and our tradition very clearly rejects it. In fact, so many of us treasure being Jewish specifically because our tradition offers such clear guidance on what is good and what is evil.
Second, an unwillingness to draw firm moral lines leads inevitably down a dangerous path to the point where one might reasonably claim that Hitler or Hamas were right. After all, in each of their twisted systems of morality, they could/can they were doing something good. Suffice to say, we cannot exist in any such world. So too, we cannot tolerate a campus culture where the response to antisemitism or calls for a genocide of Jews is, “It depends on the context.”
I want to be clear that moral relativism is not the same as moral growth. I want and need to live in a world in which our moral universe is expanding. For example, when I was growing up it wasn’t okay to be LGBTQ, and transgender was a word we had never heard of. Thankfully, LGBTQ, trans, and non-binary individuals are now cherished members of our community, and their inclusion in our congregation is now core to who we are. Behaviors, orientations and identities that were once beyond the pale are now beloved.
That said, there can and must be limits. We cannot live in a world in which each person decides what is right in their own eyes. We cannot live in a world in which “It depends on the context” is the answer to a clear moral question.
No one else will shape this world for us. It’s up to us to declare moral relativism frightening and unacceptable. It is up to us to state loudly and clearly that moral relativism is no morality at all. It’s up to us to hold our nation’s leaders – and the leaders of our top universities certainly reside in that category – to account. Our tradition and our very existence insists upon it.
Ken yehi ratzon – May it be so.
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,
Never has Chanukah been less about gifts. And never has Chanukah been more about light and miracles.
Many of us are familiar with the letters on the dreidel, which stand for “A Great Miracle (singular) Happened There.” This year we reframed that statement on TI’s Chanukah publicity by offering a prayer, nes gadol yehiheh sham. May great miracles happen there, in the Land of Israel.
The rabbis point out that each evening the Maccabees lit the menorah was its own miracle, a miracle that grew in strength and intensity night by night. During the recent ceasefire I had that same sense of nightly miracles as Israelis watched their screens late into the night – and many of us here repeatedly hit refresh on our devices – to see if the hostages on that day’s list would in fact come home. Only when we saw that the hostages had been transferred safely into the hands of the IDF and were back on Israeli soil were we able to exhale. Each night another miracle.
Our sages teach that we are supposed to put our menorah in a window. Why? In order to publicize the miracle of Chanukah. In 1931 in Kiel, Germany, the Posner family set up their menorah in their window, immediately opposite city hall, which was flying a Nazi flag.
In 1993 in Billings, Montana, in response to a surge of neo-Nazi activity, the entire town – people of every faith and ethnicity and background – placed menorahs in their windows and carried menorahs down the city’s main street and to dispel the darkness.
These images of menorahs in windows and in public spaces remind us that miracles are possible in our own day, even – or especially – under the most difficult of circumstances.
These miracles were wrought not by God but by human beings. In fact, the Torah makes it clear that divine miracles happen only when humans act first.
After 400 years of slavery in Egypt, we finally cried out in pain and suffering. Only then did God deem us worthy of redemption.
Moses was in the midst of shepherding his flock when he suddenly turned aside to notice something strange. Only then did God speak to him out of the burning bush.
When we arrived at the shore of the sea, Nachshon bravely stepped into the water and walked until he was submerged and could no longer breathe. Only then did God split the sea and enable us to walk to freedom.
The Maccabees fought the Syrian Greeks for three long, bloody years before they were finally able to reconquer Jerusalem and rededicate the Temple.
Only then was the miracle of the oil possible.
This Chanukah my prayer is that we, too, have the courage and the strength to take the first human step, and to rouse God to act in our own day.
I will paraphrase the familiar blessing we say when lighting the candles: Blessed are You, God, who makes miracles – both for our ancestors long ago and for us today. Indeed, may this be a season of miracles.
Chag Urim Sameach,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,
Just a few weeks ago, in the midst of our Civil Rights Journey to Alabama, I had the honor and privilege of participating in the installation of Rabbi PJ Schwartz as the rabbi of Temple B’nai Sholom in Huntsville, AL. Many of you remember Rabbi Schwartz, who served at TI’s Assistant Rabbi from 2013-2017. He was a blessing to our congregation. After a successful six-year tenure at a synagogue in California, Rabbi Schwartz, Michelle, and their two children moved to Huntsville this summer so that he could take the next step in his career, serving for the first time as senior rabbi of a congregation.
In less than six months in Huntsville, Rabbi Schwartz has infused a vibrant energy into a congregation that dates back to 1877. He has welcomed many new families across every demographic and already is mentoring an incredible ten conversion students. My admittedly New York-centric view of the Jewish world led me to be shocked by the passion and commitment of his congregation. Last week I realized: It is not a miracle that Jewish life flourishes in Northern Alabama. It is a miracle that Jewish life flourishes anywhere.
Author Dara Horn writes that there are two kinds of antisemitism: Chanukah antisemitism and Purim antisemitism. Chanukah antisemitism is that of the Greeks: the attempt to force us to hide our Jewishness. Purim antisemitism is that of Haman: the desire to do away with all of us.
We have always been less numerous and less powerful than our neighbors. And there have always been others who wanted us to be less Jewish, or to cease to exist completely. And we have always somehow survived. More than that, we have thrived. In 1897 Mark Twain wrote with amazement about the resilience and success of the Jewish people:
The Jews constitute but one quarter of one percent of the human race. It suggests a nebulous puff of star dust lost in the blaze of the Milky Way. The Jew ought hardly to be heard of, but he is as prominent on the planet as any other people. He has made a marvelous fight in this world in all ages; and has done it with his hands tied behind him. The Egyptians, the Babylonians and the Persians rose, filled the planet with sound and splendor, then faded to dream-stuff and passed away; the Greeks and Romans followed and made a vast noise, and they now are gone. Other people have sprung up and held their torch high for a time but it burned out, and they have vanished. The Jew saw them all, survived them all, and now exhibits no decadence, no infirmity of age, no weakening, no slowing of energy, no dulling of mind. All other forces pass, but the Jews remain. What is the secret of their immortality?
Yes, the fact that Jewish life exists at all, anywhere, is a miracle. Our son George asked, “What’s a miracle?” I thought for a moment and answered, “A miracle is something great, that you never expected to happen.” It is truly a miracle that after thousands of years of antisemitism of all types, that we are still here.
In the last couple of months we have seen so many Jewish miracles – even in the face of incomprehensible Jewish tragedy. We have seen 102 hostages come home. We have seen the inspiring strength and resilience of the people of Israel. We have seen incredible passion within our own congregation, which this week welcomed our 900th member family. We have been uplifted by our congregation’s commitment to Jewish joy – the heightened celebration of baby namings, b’nei mitzvah and weddings. Rabbi Schwartz spoke with his congregation of the sustaining power of the values we hold dear and of the responsibilities we hold toward one another. He is so very right.
Last week I was studying an upcoming Torah portion with a young member of our congregation who will soon become bat mitzvah. She directed my attention to a verse that I would have otherwise overlooked. Exodus 1:12 says, “The more the Egyptians oppressed us, the stronger we became.” She noted that verse speaks directly to us today. Our story helpfully reminds us that in times of difficulty, we inevitably grown stronger.
May this Chanukah once again be a season of miracles – great things that we never, ever expected to happen.
Am Yisrael Chai,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,
I am so very grateful to learn that the release of dozens of Israeli hostages seems imminent. I have been waiting for good news of just this sort.
I realized that what is so heavy about this moment is the confluence of immense challenges that we face as a people. I want to share with you some of the questions I find myself asking. I share them in a spirit of solidarity, knowing that many of us are navigating these questions together. I also want to conclude with the rabbinic principle of nechemta – the assurance that there are always holy sparks of hope that sustain us, even in the dark.
How will we secure the release of all the hostages?
The fate of our hostages is the stuff of nightmares. Now some are expected to come home. Others may follow in the coming days. Yet we don’t know how many of the 240 will be released, what condition they will be in, and how long others will have to remain in captivity.How can Israel achieve its military goals?
What will be the measure of success in this war? How will Israel find and eliminate Hamas leadership? How will we deal with the hundreds of miles of tunnels under Gaza? The IDF has tragically lost 68 soldiers and counting. How many more young lives will be sacrificed?Who will take responsibility for Gaza after the war?
The Arab nations have never wanted to take responsibility for Gaza, though they have certainly used Gazans and their plight to curry popular favor. The Palestinian Authority seems both unwilling and unable to take on the task. An ongoing Israeli military presence there would be deadly and disastrous.How can Israel thrive in its neighborhood?
It is as clear as ever that Israel is surrounded by enemies (Hamas, Islamic Jihad, Hezbollah, the Houthis in Yemen, various militia groups in Syria) motivated by jihad and supported by Iran. Until Oct 7, Israel seemed capable of utilizing technology, intelligence, and military strength to insulate itself from the chaos of the region. Now Israel is faced with 2 million devastated and angry neighbors. How can we prevent a resurgence of Hamas or another group similarly committed to killing Jews and eliminating Israel? I wonder how Israelis will ever be able to live normal lives in such an environment.Will Israelis and Palestinians ever be able to live side by side?
I desperately want to retain my commitment to Palestinian self-determination while prioritizing Israel’s security. However, I am concerned that October 7 has cemented the fear that many Israelis already carried: That an independent Palestinian state would be a permanent threat right next door. Furthermore, Israel’s military action may engender a new generation of Palestinians who hate Israel. At the same time, I know that ongoing occupation will continue to put Israeli citizens and military at risk and will damage the moral authority of our Jewish state.How can we counter a false narrative about Israel?
I know Israel is pursuing this war in the most careful manner possible. At the same time, I am terrified that Israel will forever be branded a heartless oppressor, or worse, a perpetrator of genocide – a charge which is both appallingly wrong and highly antisemitic. I am fearful that Jews will increasingly be perceived as oppressors worthy of condemnation, rather than a potentially vulnerable minority worthy of the same protections we advocate for everyone else.How can we halt the spread and legitimation of antisemitism?
I didn’t think I would be raising children in a time of resurgent antisemitism. The anti-Israel sentiment of the political and academic left has been shocking to many, though presciently expected by others. At the same time, I am committed to leaning into relationships with interfaith partners, elected officials, and leadership of varied institutions. Hillel’s principle has never been more urgent: “If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am only for myself, what am I? And if not now, when?”We know that many generations of our people have faced difficult times such as these. And we also know that we have always found ways to overcome them. We are sustained by the wisdom of Rabbi Nachman of Breslov who taught, “The whole world is a very narrow bridge. The most important thing is not to be afraid.” We are determined not to fall into despair.
I am grateful for the release of some of the hostages and hopeful that others will soon be reunited with their families.
I am relieved that this Thanksgiving week gives each of us an opportunity to appreciate our security, celebrate our abundance, and cherish our many blessings.
I am in awe of the daily resilience and strength of Israelis.
I am encouraged by the many Temple Israel members who have stood up to antisemitism in the public sphere, our schools or their workplaces; who have advocated on behalf of the hostages; and who have lent support to friends who are struggling at this time.
I am inspired by the tremendous engagement of our congregation. Over the past several weeks we have experienced a flood of increased participation, welcomed dozens of new members, witnessed a tidal wave of Jewish pride, and celebrated dozens of occasions of Jewish joy.
I am buoyed by the tremendous desire among American Jews to seek community not out of fear but out of pride and strength. We are uniting more than ever, gathering supporters, and rallying together.
I am motivated by the unity and support I feel among Jews, and which was on display at last week’s rally in DC.
I am lifted by the approach of Chanukah – a story that insists that miracles and light are always present, even at the darkest of times.
I am heartened by the many friends we have in our own neighborhood and in positions of power around the world.
I am hopeful because of the insight of a bat mitzvah student, who noted that Exodus 1:12 speaks directly to us today: “The more the people of Israel were oppressed, the more they flourished.”
Despite the challenges of this moment, we will flourish for generations to come.
Am Yisrael Chai,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,
This weekend Rabbi Plesent and I traveled to Georgia and Alabama with 25 Temple Israel congregants as well as Rev. Bernard Wilson and 9 congregants from Norfield Congregational Church. Together we retraced the journey of the Civil Rights Movement.
I was often reminded that the Civil Rights Movement was founded on faith. Dr. King was the son and grandson of ministers. His philosophy of nonviolence was rooted in the teachings of our ancient Hebrew prophets. King’s first pulpit, Dexter Avenue Baptist Church, sits directly in the shadow the Alabama State Capitol — which at the time was the very seat of injustice. Mass meetings at churches provided the momentum of the movement as choirs sang, ministers preached, and individuals received training in the principles and practices of nonviolence. The Birmingham demonstrations and the Selma to Montgomery march started with meetings at local churches.
Yesterday we concluded our journey by attending worship at Ebenezer Baptist Church in Atlanta, where Dr. King served as co-pastor with his father and where Rev. Sen. Warnock now serves as senior minister. As I sat in the congregation, I was reminded that church has long been a bedrock institution of the Black community because Sunday worship was designed to give congregants the strength and resilience to face the challenges of the week ahead.
The Civil Rights Movement was grounded in faith because faith helps us envision a world that is better than it is today, a world redeemed from injustice, pain and oppression. Faith gives us the moral grounding and direction needed transform the world as it is into the world as it should be.
It was so very powerful to make this pilgrimage at a time when the strength and resilience Jewish community is being tested. I am watching with great anxiety as the IDF operates carefully in Gaza, yet suffers severe losses. I am extremely anxious about the fate of the 240 hostages still dwelling in captivity somewhere beneath the ground. I am concerned about the rise of antisemitism on college campuses and elsewhere.
At the same time, over the past month I have witnessed an incredible yearning for and attachment to Jewish life. Folks are flocking to Temple Israel – for Shabbat and family programs, to learn about the history of Israel, and for life cycles that elevate Jewish Joy. We have even received several inquiries from people who wish to begin the process of converting to Judaism.
A couple of weeks ago I was honored to officiate a baby naming ceremony for the Amoona family. As we bestowed the Hebrew name Yisrael on baby Hudson, Jessica Amoona said:
Being Jewish is such an important part of our lives and we struggled to find the perfect name that embodies this little guy who is just so warm and sweet and strong. We have seen and experienced unimaginable pain as a community. My heart has been so broken for the families In Israel and for Jews all over the world. I feel like being Jewish today means feeling immense grief for people you don’t even know. But in all this darkness, there is a light: the strength of Israel, of its people and of those in this world who support us. That is why we chose the Hebrew name Israel. We hope he can embody the strength we have seen Israel display during even the darkest of times.
Our Civil Rights Journey reminded me that we love Jewish life because Judaism inspires us to envision a world that is better than the one we’re currently living in. The prophet Zechariah described the Jewish people as “prisoners of hope.” To be Jewish is to be hopeful, even in the darkest of times. That’s precisely why Judaism continues to inspire generation after generation.
Am Yisrael Chai,
-
Dear Friends,
We Jews are eternally caught in tension between the particular and the universal.
By “particular,” I mean things that are specifically Jewish: Jewish actions that we call mitzvot, Jewish language and terminology, Jewish prayer and music… and especially the unique connection between one Jew and another. We take care of one another; we look out for one another. Over the past month since the Oct 7 attacks, that connection between Jews feels especially vital – even primal. “All Jews are responsible for one another,” the Talmud teaches. We are living that essential teaching right now.
It can be difficult for those outside the Jewish community to understand how personally we have been personally traumatized by the Hamas attack and its subsequent reverberations around the world. We know that we are linked to our fellow Jews by identity, history and fate. The victims and hostages are not a general population far away – they are us. When I think about the hostages huddled somewhere deep underground in Gaza, and when I think about IDF soldiers making their way into a deadly warzone, I think, “Those are my people. If life was slightly different, that could easily be me.”
I have been heartened to see our Jewish community unite in solidarity here at TI, in Westport, in Weston, and in so many other locations. The Jewish Federations of North America have just announced a massive pro-Israel solidarity rally in DC on Tuesday, November 14. Register here to travel and attend with our local federation. Please make sure to write in that you would like to be picked up from Temple Israel in Westport.
At the same time, part of the reason we’re proud to be Jewish is that Judaism aims toward the universal well-being of all humankind. Thus, it is extraordinarily difficult to for us to read about Palestinian suffering or to see images of injured Gazan children and the destruction of homes. To be solely concerned with ourselves would be a perversion of Jewish tradition and practice.
“Love your neighbor as yourself,” the Torah teaches. After the war, Gazans will still be our neighbors. We are not going anywhere; neither are they. Long-term, we have no choice but to somehow coexist side by side — God willing, in security.
The question before us is this: Can we fiercely love and defend our fellow Jews, while also reserving space in our hearts and minds for Palestinian suffering? I believe we can. One model is offered by Amanda Berman, Founder and Executive Director of Zioness, a multiracial coalition of Jewish activists and allies who are unabashedly progressive and unapologetically Zionist. I am proud that TI is partnering with TCS to host Amanda Berman on Monday, November 13 at 7pm, and registration is open now.
We need solidarity because we know that our Jewish fate is intertwined. We need compassion for our neighbors because our tradition requires it of us. However, in this moment, these twin needs are not equally balanced. My concern and care for the Jewish people comes first. I worry daily about the children and adults held hostage. I pray that Israel’s leaders make the best possible decisions. I mourn the unfathomable number of lives lost. And, as Israel’s government has made clear, Hamas holds the power to halt the war at any time – by allowing the hostages to return home.
May we lean into Jewish solidarity in this time of darkness and fear. And once our hostages are safe, our soldiers home, and our mourners comforted, may we access once again the reserves of compassion that we hold.
I love our cherished Jewish values as much as anyone. And I know that if there are no Jews, there will be no one to live our values. Thus my commitment to protecting Jewish lives comes first.
Am Yisrael Chai,
-
Dear Friends,
Voting is nothing less than a contemporary Jewish mitzvah.
The fact is that for the majority of our history we Jews had absolutely no say in determining who governed us, what laws were in place, or what policies were enacted. We are now quite fortunate to live in a time and a place in which we can freely assert our Jewish values, protect our interests and defend the rights of all Americans through our participation in the democratic process.
We thus encourage every member of our community to vote in the local elections which will be held tomorrow, Tuesday, November 7. Schedule time to go to your designated polling place. Educate yourself on the candidates running for office in your town (the League of Women Voters is often a good source). And encourage others in your family or workplace to do the same.
Please join us in voting tomorrow, in fulfillment of this essential mitzvah.
L’shalom,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman
Cantor Julia Cadrain
Rabbi Elana Nemitoff-Bresler
Rabbi Zachary A. Plesent
Cantor Becky Mann -
Dear Friends,
Never has Israel felt closer that it does today, and never has our American Jewish community been tied more closely to our Israeli siblings.
I am so pleased that an astounding 136 members of our congregation (and counting!) have already registered for my upcoming course, Israel: An Exploration of History and Present, which begins this week. There is still plenty of room for you to participate, either in person or via zoom on Tuesdays at 12:30p or Wednesdays at 7p. The course begins this week; topics will be the same on Tuesdays and Wednesdays.I am offering this course because I have heard from so many who wish they knew more about Israel’s history and the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. My hope is that this course will equip each of us to converse knowledgeably about Israel and to consume media with a firm basis of understanding.
At the same time, it is not surprising that there is a range of views regarding Israel within our Jewish community. I have learned that our views of Israel are often formed by the era in which we came of age.
Those who lived through the War of Independence (1948), the Six-Day War (1967), or the Yom Kippur War (1973), are likely to see Israel as the fledgling refuge of Holocaust survivors, struggling to survive in the midst of enemies. Many of this generation feel keenly Israel’s vulnerability.
Those who, like me, came of age in the 80s and 90s, know an Israel that is strong and established, with a world-class military, and nuclear capabilities. For many of us, the eternal question is how Israel will manage to live alongside its Palestinian neighbors who, like Israel, deserve a chance to live in security and peace.
Those who grew up in the 21st century may see an Israel that is – as difficult as it is for me to write these words – an oppressive colonialist power that often violates Jewish values.
I am aware that some of the above is surely an oversimplification of our multi-layered and nuanced feelings regarding Israel. Nonetheless, as a congregation, we are committed to loving and supporting the State of Israel, which we know is central to Jewish life. Aiming toward a better understanding of Israel’s history and present, as well as of the varying views we each may hold, can only help us.
Am Yisrael Chai,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,
Word of the tragic murder of 40-year-old Detroit synagogue president Samantha Woll comes at a time when we can scarcely bear more bad news. Law enforcement is currently investigating whether this was a hate crime. However, to jump to any premature conclusions would be irresponsible — as irresponsible as The New York Times blaming Israel for the Gaza hospital explosion before learning the facts.
Meanwhile, we are all feeling vulnerable. Many of you have told me about experiencing actions and words over the past two weeks that were hurtful or harmful.
Antisemitism is the very opposite of the Supreme Court’s infamous “we know it when we see it” principle. We are often unsure of what exactly qualifies. The time has come for us to clearly define what antisemitism is. We need to do this in order to name the phenomenon for ourselves, and to be able to point it out to others.
Note that there is a huge difference between labeling certain actions or words antisemitic and labeling a particular person antisemitic. I know that I have sometimes been unaware of how my words and actions impact another person. I would thus encourage all of us to refrain from attaching labels to individuals while equipping ourselves with the definitions and confidence to name antisemitism when necessary.
- To place any degree of responsibility or blame on Israel for the wanton massacre of Israeli citizens is antisemitism. A historic staple of antisemitism is scapegoating Jews for misfortune; in this case even our own misfortune.
- To support the creation of a Palestinian state is not antisemitic. To advocate for a Palestinian state in a way that nullifies the existence of the State of Israel is antisemitism.
- To single out Israel for its actions among all the many nations on earth — over China, Russia, North Korea, Iran — is antisemitism. A trope of antisemitism through the centuries has been treating Jews as outcasts; many do the same to the Jewish state.
- To refuse to use the name “Israel” when referring to a nation that has existed for 75 years is antisemitism.
- To deny that there is an epidemic of assault on the physical bodies of Jews — from Pittsburgh to Poway to Paris to Colleyville to Jersey City to dozens of assaults on traditionally dressed Jews on the streets of Brooklyn — is antisemitism.
- To appropriate words that refer to the annihilation of our people such as Nazi, genocide and Holocaust and use those terms against us is antisemitism.
- To rely on a terrorist organization such as Hamas or Hezbollah as a credible journalistic source without corroboration, and then to report in such a way that condemns Israel for a certain act is antisemitism.
I hope that this list may be useful to us interpersonally, in business or institutional settings, on college campuses, on social media or elsewhere. This is not intended to be an exhaustive list; I’m sure that each of us could draw upon our own experiences to add to it.
I invite you to join me tomorrow evening at 7pm in TI’s sanctuary (or via livestream at www.tiwestport.org/livestream) to continue to share thoughts about the evolving situation in Israel or our own experiences and definitions of antisemitism, ask the questions burning in our hearts, and continue to be together as a community.
L’shalom,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman
-
Dear Friends,
There can be no moral equivalence. Moral equivalence is the “but…” in conversations about Israel and Gaza. It’s the attempt to place some degree of responsibility on Israel for Hamas’ attack. The idea that Israeli policy toward Gaza – as difficult as it may have been over the decades – is any justification for the cold-blooded murder of 1400 Jewish soldiers and civilians (as the death toll now stands) is morally repugnant.
Israel has been clear: it is fighting a war not against Gazans but against Hamas. Hamas has nothing to do with liberation; its aim is the complete destruction of Israel. Hamas views the establishment of the State of Israel as illegitimate, and thus all Israelis as criminals. Hamas militants are not “freedom fighters;” they are terrorists.
Hamas deliberately targeted civilians: women, children, and the elderly. Its terrorists murdered babies and toddlers, revelers at a music festival, secular Israelis at home on a Shabbat morning, and families just like ours.
Meanwhile, Israel and the IDF adhere to rules and ethics regarding the use of power and force. The IDF targets only those in terror networks and facilities that support terrorists’ efforts. The IDF never targets civilians; it makes every effort to avoid civilian casualties. Moreover, if civilians are unintentionally harmed, there are structures in which personnel and commanders are held accountable under IDF procedures and Israeli law. Hamas adheres to no such rules.
In contrast, Hamas and its cousin on Israel’s northern border, Hezbollah, do not recognize international mores regarding power. They take civilian and military hostages – an incomprehensible 200 in last week’s attack. (The IDF never takes hostages.) Hamas then uses the hostages as human shields. But it’s not just that Hamas uses Israeli hostages as human shields to deter IDF attacks in Gaza. Hamas has for years used their own women, children and elderly as human shields. How can Israel live next to an enemy who vows to destroy it, and who possesses so little respect for human life?
Meanwhile, the IDF takes every possible precaution to prevent the loss of innocent human life. The IDF uses its technological advantage to reduce collateral damage at all times. For example, before a building is targeted, the IDF calls all its residents and warns them (in Arabic) to evacuate. In addition, an initial hit on a building may be a “roof knock” – a small, non-explosive device intended to warn residents and enable them to evacuate before an imminent bombing.
Israel has not occupied Gaza for 18 years. Israel withdrew in 2005, removing (sometimes forcibly) the thousands of Jewish Israeli citizens who had settled there. Hamas won the subsequent election and has held onto power ever since. Instead of using its power and billions in international aid to liberate Gazans from poverty, Hamas has instead abused its power to launch tens of thousands of missiles into Israel, build terrorist tunnels, oppress its own people into silence, and continue to blame Israel for all of Gaza’s problems.
Israel’s overwhelming application of military force is neither disproportionate nor vengeful. It is entirely necessary. Not only must Israel root out Hamas, but it must also deter any potential enemy from thinking that an attempt to harm Israel will be worthwhile. The “deterrent effect,” as it’s called – along with secure border barriers, a heavily armed and hyper-vigilant military, and the Iron Dome missile defense apparatus – has enabled Israel to flourish as an island of success and creativity amid the maelstrom of chaos and extremism that is the Middle East.
I dread the upcoming weeks of IDF action in Gaza. I fear that this will be a dark time. There will be further loss of Israeli lives as well as loss of innocent Palestinian lives. There will be increased vitriol against Israel. At the same time, I know it’s necessary. I’m reminded of the words of Golda Meir, who said, “If the Arabs put down their weapons today, there would be no more violence. If the Israelis put down their weapons today, there would be no more Israel.”
We should all be grateful that President Biden and Secretary of State Blinken have been morally clear in their response to this crisis for the Jewish people and the State of Israel. Now is the time for us to be morally clear as well.
Am Yisrael Chai,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,
One ray of light in the darkness of this past week is the number of congregants who have expressed a desire to help our Israeli brothers and sisters. We have been advised by Federation’s partners on the ground that collection drives and ad-hoc shipments to Israel are ineffective because there isn’t a reliable distribution network there. Fortunately, our staff and lay leaders have worked hard to identify organizations that have identified concrete needs and have an effective distribution pipeline in Israel.
Thus, if you wish to make an impactful contribution, we recommend the following:
Hatikvah Alliance
Launched just last week by TI members Seth & Sarah Brody, Hatikvah Alliance provides the world’s highest-quality life-saving medical kits to first responders and front-line personnel via a direct relationship with the Israeli authorities overseeing inbound aid.Brothers and Sisters in Arms
Former Federation emissary Mor Lankry (now Eldar) is working closely with this organization, which has created Israel’s largest distribution center for donated goods and is making countless deliveries to the conflict zones in order to supply security service personnel and civilians with critical resources and vital equipment.I have made a contribution from my discretionary fund and invite you to join me with a contribution of your own.
In addition, all are invited to join TI’s Social Action Committee meeting this Thursday, October 19, at 12pm at TI. Chairs Allyson Gottlieb and Ellen Mondshine will lead the committee in identifying additional tangible ways our congregation – especially our younger congregants – can help.
Am Yisrael Chai,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,
While the terror and horror of Saturday’s attack is still all too fresh in our minds and hearts, we can already sense the tenor of public discourse shifting.
Hillel taught, “If I don’t stand up for myself, who will stand up for me? If I am only for myself, what am I? And if not now, when?” It is essential that we equip ourselves to stand up for Israel and for our own community – in the public sphere, with friends, on social media – and that we do so immediately.
Many of us are feeling unsupported by those outside the Jewish community during our time of great need.
Their silence may not be antisemitic, but it is deafening and devastating. As strange as it sounds to us, most Americans think of Jews as a religious group and Israelis as a nationality, distinct from one another. It is hard for them to understand the degree to which “our hearts are in the East,” as Rabbi Yehudah Halevi wrote long ago. Thus, it may not occur to them to reach out during what we see as our community’s time of crisis. In response, I urge us to break that silence by proactively sharing our thoughts and emotions. Share how vulnerable you feel. Share how we feel like this happened not to some people far away but to us. Share that the Israelis in your circle may be physically safe but they are emotionally devastated. Share the ways in which you’re helping – or that you’re desperate to help but unsure how. And when they reach out – in whatever form it may take – understand that they’re doing the best they can.
Our liberal-minded friends may equivocate when it comes to Israel. For us, there can be no moral equivocation.
Let us define the starting point in any conversation. As NY State Senator Liz Kreuger succinctly wrote, “Hamas’ attack on Israel was carefully planned to murder, terrify, and kidnap civilians, including children. Hamas members are not freedom fighters or liberators; it is a terrorist organization with the avowed aim of destroying Israel and Israelis.”
Others may frame it as “conflict in the Middle East.” Such terminology proposes a moral equivalence, where there is both right and wrong on both sides. Let us be clear: this was an unprovoked and unfathomably horrific attack against innocent Israelis.
As Israel’s war against Hamas continues, some will question Israel’s use of force. The Jewish State has an absolute right to defend itself against aggression and ensure that such violence can never happen to its citizens again. Any sovereign state would claim and exercise that same right.
The world often sees Israelis as oppressors who are worthy of condemnation. But when attacked, are we not worthy of sympathy?
College campuses are already awash in anti-Zionism.
It is difficult to watch – though hardly surprising – as campus groups at Harvard, Yale, and many other schools issue statements supporting “the Palestinian people’s right to resist.” It is appalling that administrators and presidents who are careful monitors of hate speech and “micro-aggressions” say and do little when antisemitism or anti-Zionism (I dare anyone to define the difference) appears on campus. Let us use our connections and influence to ensure that the college campuses we love and which our children attend remain places where our students can be proudly Jewish and proudly pro-Israel.
Social media is a breeding ground for antisemitism and anti-Zionism.
Our era’s rise in antisemitism is largely due to the proliferation of platforms on which anyone can post their own views, in a mostly unmoderated format. Thus, it is up to us to report antisemitic posts and counter anti-Israel posts with statements of our own. More importantly, I would advise monitoring your child’s TikTok or Instagram for anything that glorifies Palestinian violence or magnifies anti-Israel sentiment.
This is the time to bolster our Jewish pride and resilience.
Two years ago, I was buoyed by Bret Stephens’ article entitled “The Necessity of Jewish Power.” I re-read his piece this week and cannot recommend it highly enough.
This is the time to wear your Jewish star or chai. Others will take note. And you’ll feel proud.
Be proud that over 1000 members of our community – along with non-Jewish friends and allies – packed TI’s sanctuary for a solidarity gathering, and over 3,500 joined online. Our community is unified and strong.
Israel’s war on Hamas and its allies will continue for some time. We have seen this before; we know that criticism of Israel and of the IDF will only mount. There will be dark days ahead. It will be up to all of us who love and support Israel to counter such criticism and reverse such sentiment.
If we don’t stand up for ourselves, no one else will stand up for us.
Am Yisrael Chai,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,
Deuteronomy instructs our ancestors living in the Land of Israel 2500 years ago to gather up some of their harvest each fall, bring it to the Temple in Jerusalem, and offer it to God as a sign of gratitude. The Torah then instructs each person to say:
My parents were wanderers. They went down to Egypt in meager numbers. There we became a great and populous nation. But the Egyptians oppressed us with heavy labor. So we cried out to God, and God saw our plight and heard our plea. Then God brought us out of Egypt with awesome power, and brought us to this place, a land flowing with milk and honey. Now I bring the first fruits of my harvest as an offering to You.
The harvest gift was significant, but far more important was the telling of this story. I wonder how it might have felt for our ancestors to say these words. Many of them likely felt proud. This is a story that is both beautiful and unifying. They might have identified highly with this narrative of wandering, slavery, redemption, and finally settling in a new home, the Land of Israel.
But for others, it might have felt too formulaic. What if this fixed narrative didn’t quite fit your story? How did it feel when you were asked to recite those words?
We do the same thing today. When we tell the story of being Jewish in America, it often goes something like this: We were in the old country, we took a boat to Ellis Island, from there we went to the Lower East Side, then to Brooklyn or the Bronx, then the suburbs — and here we are.
There are many in our congregation who identify with this story. But what if your story is different?
Jewish culture in America is highly Ashkeno-centric. We assume all Jews were once Tevya. We assume all Jews eat lox and gefilte fish. We assume all Jews have certain last names, certain skin colors, certain family structures, and certain identities.
We want Temple Israel to feel like a place where every single one of us feels like we have always belonged. But if we assume that all Jews and all who belong to Jewish families fit neatly into one single narrative, that is simply impossible.
Temple Israel is our shared Jewish home: a place of comfort, friendship, acceptance, and love. In order for each of us to feel at home, we have to recognize the wide multitude of stories that constitute our diverse and growing congregation. We are proud to have congregants who grew up Reform, Conservative, Orthodox, or none of the above. Some of us grew up overseas — whether in Israel, China, France, or elsewhere. Some of us escaped the religious oppression of the former Soviet Union. Some of us didn’t grow up Jewish and are now proud to be part of Jewish families. Some of us chose to become Jewish at some point along our life’s path.
Let us recognize that there are so many different paths that have led us here. We want this to be a place where we don’t bring any particular assumptions about who someone is, where they came from, how they grew up, or what their family looks like. Only when we are open to a wide range of narratives can TI truly be our shared Jewish home. May each of us feel like we have always belonged.
L’shanah tovah,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,
This weekend felt like the conclusion of a wonderful summer. Summer always seems like the season of expansiveness and newness. This summer certainly was in our family. Goldie and George went to their first amusement park, attended their first baseball game, saw their first fireworks show, and sailed on a sailboat for the first time.
Even if we’re not 5 years old, I’m sure each of us had experiences of transcendent newness this summer. What were yours? Perhaps you traveled to a place you had always wanted to visit, completed a challenge, or packed your child off for college for the first time. These are the moments that sustain us. We yearn to hold on to them all year long.
And then we start to think about what’s next. As we turn towards autumn, many of us are about transition back into familiar routines of work or school. Routine can be comforting and familiar. It can also be stifling.
Fortunately, our Jewish calendar will soon give us the opportunity to celebrate newness once again. Rosh Hashanah is our celebration of the chance to begin anew.
Sometimes that’s difficult. When I first moved to Jerusalem to begin rabbinical school, as I was settling in one of my favorite professors taught me an expression: Kol hatchalot kashot, “Every beginning is hard.”
But beginnings also are an opportunity for excitement, adventure, and for new and healthier patterns. Beginnings are especially an opportunity for growth, expansiveness and possibility.
So let’s do our best to remember, savor and hold on to those special moments of newness from this summer. May they sustain us long beyond the conclusion of this season. Then let’s take our next opportunity to explore newness as we approach Rosh Hashanah.
What’s going to be your next “new?” How are you going to make it special? How are you going to mark it? And how might you carry it with you into the new Jewish year 5784?
L’shalom,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,
This past week marked one month since I have had the great pleasure of joining the Temple Israel family. In reflecting back on my one monthiversary, I marveled at just how much I have gotten to experience in my first month in this incredible community. I’ve joined our clergy in lifecycles, from weddings to baby namings to funerals. I’ve experienced the joy of Pride Shabbat and the beauty of Shabbat on the Beach (and Shabbat on the Beach in the Sanctuary.) I’ve loved engaging in prayer and thoughtful discussion with our Saturday morning Minyan and Torah study group, and above all, I’ve loved getting to know the heart of this community through our clergy, staff, board, and incredible congregants.
The past month has been filled with so many special moments, and it has also been filled with lots of exciting planning for the months up ahead! While we still have a week before we enter into the Hebrew month of Elul, the month of spiritual reflection that marks the beginnings of our preparation for the High Holy Days, any congregational clergy will tell you that the process of preparing for the High Holy Days begins much farther than a month in advance. Our clergy team has spent the summer thinking deeply about the meaning of our High Holy Days here at TI, and in all of our discussions, we keep returning to one simple phrase:
“You’ve always belonged here.”
In just one month at Temple Israel, I’ve felt these words to ring true every day I walk into the building. There is a deep sense of inclusivity and belonging that exists within every aspect of this congregation, and it only makes sense that these words will frame the holiest days of our Jewish year here at Temple Israel.
I can’t wait to continue experiencing the joy and love of this community in the many months to come. Thank you for making my first month at TI filled with so many blessings, and reminding me that I’ve always belonged right here.
L’shalom,
Cantor Becky Mann -
Dear Friends,
Have you ever met someone with the exact same name as you?
I met Mark Rubenstein during my earliest weeks at Temple Israel, nine years ago. He was in the hospital, and I went to visit. I offered to say a prayer for healing and asked for his Hebrew name to incorporate into the liturgy. He said, “Avraham Michael ben Yosef.” I looked at him quizzically. “No, that’s my Hebrew name. What’s yours?” He said again, “My name is Avraham Michael ben Yosef.” Although Mark sadly passed away last month, we will always be connected because we shared the same name.
This was not the first time I met someone who shared my name. Growing up, another Michael Friedman moved to my street when I was 9. He was the same age, and we were in the same grade. The school administration (and post office) constantly mixed us up, though our classmates always knew who was who.
Whether you have a unique name or a common one, Jewish tradition is clear: The name we are given pales in importance compared to the name we make for ourselves.
Kohelet Rabbah, a 1500 year-old collection of rabbinic wisdom teaches, “Each person has three names: The name given by one’s parents, the name given by one’s friends, and the name one acquires on one’s own.”
The name given by parents is our formal name. The name given by friends are any nicknames bestowed upon us. The name we each acquire on our own is the accumulated product of our actions: the reputation we build in our career, the loyalty we show to friends, the character we demonstrate in difficult situations, the generosity with which we treat family, the integrity with which we conduct ourselves, the trust we establish with neighbors, and so much more.
We live by the name we’re given by our parents, or the nicknames bestowed by friends. Some of those names are unique; others may be shared with someone down the block.
What is true for each of us is that our life’s ultimate worth will be measured by the name we acquire for ourselves.
L’shalom,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,
For the first 1000 years of Jewish history the singular Temple stood in Jerusalem. It was the center of Jewish worship and God’s metaphorical home in our midst. Then, in the year 70 the Roman army conquered Jerusalem and destroyed our Temple. This week we observe the anniversary of that destruction, Tisha B’Av.
In a fascinating theological turnabout, the sages of our tradition attributed this calamity not to an invading army but to internal strife within the Jewish community. They tell the story of two acquaintances, one of whom threw a party but did not invite the other. The snubbed man got so angry that he began spreading false rumors, defaming the reputation of the first. Ultimately, the conflict got so out of hand that it devolved into what the rabbis call sinat chinam, “pointless hatred.” Precisely because of sinat chinam, our rabbis teach, the Temple was destroyed.
We can think about Tisha B’Av as a warning of the destructiveness of pointless hatred — especially between Jews. Today, pointless hatred threatens to tear our beloved State of Israel apart. In fact, one might say that the greatest threat to the State of Israel today is not an invading army but rather sinat chinam, the internal unrest of Jew vs Jew.
Despite months of massive and mostly peaceful protests, the governing coalition today passed the first of their proposed governmental reform laws. This one prohibits Israel’s Supreme Court from using the doctrine of “reasonableness” in assessing government decisions. (In the absence of written constitutional guidelines, the Supreme Court has used “reasonableness” as its standard of decision-making for decades.) The governing coalition is now set to move ahead with its next proposed reform, altering the way Israel’s judges are appointed. “Reasonableness” may indeed need to be re-assessed, but as many including President Biden have pointed, doing it in this manner can only be harmful to Israel’s vibrant democracy.
To force legislation over clear and persistent popular opposition may be an act of sinat chinam, pointless hatred.
To refuse to talk or negotiate with those with whom one disagrees may be an act of sinat chinam, pointless hatred.
To boycott an appearance by the President of the State of Israel – as some members of Congress did last week – is an act of sinat chinam, pointless hatred.The media has often identified this conflict as one of “secular and pluralist” Israelis versus “religious and nationalist” Israelis, as The New York Times put it recently. I don’t think it’s that simple. There are plenty of observant and patriotic citizens protesting against the proposed judicial reforms. Similarly, there are plenty of secular folks who have long felt that their interests have been excluded and underrepresented.
I would suggest that, especially this week of Tisha B’Av, we should focus instead on the fact that those on both sides are Jews. Conflict among us has the potential to destroy something sacred and holy. The issues at stake are of tremendous importance. They go to the heart of the nature of the Jewish State. But the manner in which each side is pursuing their goals carries a degree of pointless opposition.
L’shalom – may we pursue peace with one another,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman
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Dear Friends,Yesterday I stood on the stage of Jessup Green and, holding my 3-year old daughter’s hand, offered a song and a blessing to represent Temple Israel at Westport Pride. You can watch a video of that moment below.
As Pride Month begins, I reflect on my own pride at being part of an LGBTQ+ family, as well as my pride at being part of a Jewish community that welcomes and celebrates all of us in our uniqueness. Because our Jewish values affirm that none of us are free until all of us are free, our congregation has identified “inclusivity” as a core value. You can find these words beautifully displayed on our website: “We value inclusivity; we believe that each person’s presence matters.” Whether you consider yourselves members of the LGBTQ+ family, or allies who believe in the worth and dignity of every human being, we invite you to celebrate Pride Shabbat with us. During our first Shabbat on the Beach of the season, on June 23, we will lift up the voices of LGBTQ+ composers and thought leaders, and fill Compo beach with rainbows symbolizing diversity and love. As we have taken to saying publicly each Shabbat, “whoever you are and wherever you come from, you have always belonged here.”With love and pride,
Cantor Julia Cadrain -
Dear Friends,Everyone whose children have attended (or currently attend) our Early Childhood Center know and love Geri Stone. For more than 20 years – and counting! – Geri has been a pure ray of sunshine on even the cloudiest of days.
Geri has often been the very first person new families speak to on the phone or meet the first time they come into our building. She has developed relationships of trust and caring with parents, teachers and students alike. She has ensured that our ECC is a place of joy, warmth, support, safety and growth. We are therefore thrilled to be celebrating Geri for her 20+ years of dedication at next week’s annual ECC Spring Soiree. The Talmud teaches, “The fate of the entire world rests on the breath of children in the schoolhouse.” Geri embodies this brilliant teaching. While she holds the title of Assistant to the Director of Early Childhood Education, that description hardly encompasses the significant impact she continues to have within our congregation. Simply put, she dedicates her heart and soul to our Temple Israel community every single day.Geri’s focus on early childhood education began when she earned her college degree in speech communication with a teaching certification in grades K-8. Later, she became a parent leader during her daughters’ time at a different local preschool. She joined the TI staff in 2002 and has served alongside every ECC director we have had during that time – each of whom, Geri lovingly notes, “was wonderful in her own way.” After several years at TI, Geri and her husband Merrill became dedicated members of our congregation. They have formed lifelong friendships here, and “TI has really become my community,” Geri said.“Nothing gives me more pleasure than seeing parents make connections with one another. It feels like we’re an extended family.”For those wishing to make a tzedakah donation in honor of Geri’s 20 years of dedication, please consider a contribution to the ECC by clicking the link below. You may also send her a note of appreciation at gstone@tiwestport.org.We look forward to celebrating Geri at our ECC Soiree and to appreciating her every day as she continues her career here at TI.L’shalom,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,We make a particular effort to enable each of our b’nei mitzvah students to bring their own unique personality and interests to the bima on the day of their bar or bat mitzvah.Just a couple of weeks ago we saw four young women, Tess, Delilah, Charlotte and Dylan, choose to sit together in the front row of the sanctuary – apart from their families – on Friday night. It was a demonstration of the bond they had formed and the friendship and support they provided to one another.
This past Shabbat we witnessed b’nei mitzvah Noah Bruno and Noah Feingold each present an incredible d’var Torah. Noah Bruno used his passion for technology and storytelling to present his d’var Torah on the sabbatical year in an extraordinarily creative and compelling manner. 
Noah Feingold crafted a masterful d’var Torah which offered beautiful and insightful commentary on the act of tzedakah, memorialization of the Holocaust, and his own personal Jewish journey. 
These two divrei Torah represent the very best of our congregation: merging tradition with creativity, focussing on tikkun olam (the repair of our world), building a community of inclusion, nurturing Jewish pride and resilience. I hope you will watch and be inspired, as I was.L’shalom,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,My heart is still beaming with joy and gratitude after our amazing TI Mitzvah Day. Mitzvah Day is a TI program where we invite our entire community to join together in a day of service by hosting organizations and projects that support those in need. Many of those we help live in our surrounding communities and even globally. This year we were blessed to have an intergenerational group of more than 350 volunteers participate and help make our day so successful.
Thank you to:- Our Social Action committee for all their dedication – and in particular Allyson Gottlieb, who spearheaded the entire day. If you’d like to join our Social Action committee please email me.
- Our TI congregants who donated supplies or made a financial contribution to our Social Action Fund.
- All the local businesses who donated supplies.
- All the organizations who partnered with us in creating an impactful day
- Our incredible TI members and families who volunteered their time.
What we accomplished:- 10,000 meals donated to Ukrainian refugees through The Outreach Program
- 500 Breakfast Bags via PJ Library delivered to Life Bridge Community Service
- 500 Feminine Hygiene Tote Bags via the Jewish Federation of Greater Fairfield County to Dignity Grows
- 500 hospital bags via Brady’s Smile, an organization created to help make life easier for children in the hospital and their families.
- 100 Backpacks filled with School supplies via Jewish Family Services – Greenwich
- 100 blessing/toiletry bags for Bridgeport Rescue Mission
- 100 lunch bags for Gillespie Center
- 30 Mother’s Day cards for Pink Posse, a group of volunteer Warriors and friends who help breast cancer patients in dire need bag of compassion to local area hospitals.
- 12 lasagnas baked and delivered to Homes with Hope and Meals on Wheels
- lap blankets, activity bags, potted plants, and centerpieces donated to Jewish Senior Services and Weston Senior Center
- Dog Treats and toys donated to PAWS
There are still opportunities for you to help!Donate and Serve a Meal at the Gillespie Center on Tuesdays.The Gillespie Center is a shelter in downtown Westport which serves the local homeless population. TI has committed to providing and serving dinner for 20-25 people every Tuesday night which include a main dish, side dish, vegetables, and dessert.A maximum of 5 people (or 1 family if all living in the same household) can serve a meal from Community Kitchen serving area. You will need to arrive no later than 4:40 pm to serve dinner (if the meal you have prepared to serve needs to be warmed up, please allow extra time). If you are dropping off dinner or ordering food to be delivered to be served by the employees of the center, they as that the delivery is between 3 pm – 3:30pm. If it is possible to package dinners individually, the center would appreciate you to doing so, otherwise the staff will portion the dinner food once it is delivered.Chazak, chazak, v’nitchazeik – Be strong, be strong, and we will strengthen one another. Stephanie Schwartz
Director of Programming and Member Engagment -
Dear Friends,I appreciate that hundreds of TI congregants – and others from the wider community – joined Rabbi Wiederhorn and me for a fascinating in-depth conversation with Israel expert Danny Gordis yesterday. Fortunately we are able to make the video available to all below. It is simply must-see viewing.
In addition, this evening our annual community Yom HaShoah/Holocaust Remembrance Day observance will take place at TCS at 7pm. I invite all to join us for this significant event of memory and commemoration. 
Register here For those curious about why today, in particular, is the date when the Holocaust is remembered on the Israeli calendar, Danny Gordis offered a detailed explanation in his regular Substack this morning: Tonight, in Israel and throughout the world, begins the observance of Yom HaShoah, technically called Yom Ha-Shoah ve-ha-Gevurah, which roughly translates as Memorial Day for Victims of the Holocaust and their Bravery.Yom HaShoah has been part of the Jewish calendar for so long that we often forget that it wasn’t always there. It did not even follow immediately after the war. The date was officially selected by the Knesset in 1951, while the law that made the holiday “official” was passed in 1953.The selection of the date was actually a complicated process. The rabbinate wanted the Knesset to choose the date of the Tenth of Tevet, which was already a general “day of mourning” in the traditional Jewish calendar. But the survivors, understandably, wanted a unique date—so the Knesset chose a date tied to the Warsaw Ghetto uprising.That, itself, is significant, as the yishuv (the pre-state Jewish community in Palestine) and the citizens of early Israel struggled to honor the Holocaust victims, many of whom live today in Israel under the poverty line. In those early days of Israel, the victims were seen as weak and passive, precisely the opposite of the “new Jew” the yishuv was trying to fashion. So the Knesset chose a date tied to resistance, not to death—it fit better with the Jewish narrative Israel was seeking to transmit.L’shalom,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,On the second night of Passover, Goldie and George were incredibly excited for Elijah’s visit. Every five minutes they sprang up from our seder table and ran to the door to check on his arrival. They could not wait to greet this mysterious visitor and watch him drink a cup of wine. After a half-dozen disappointing door-openings, I surreptitiously placed a note addressed to Goldie and George on the welcome mat. In the note “Elijah” told them that he had secretly hidden in the corner and watched them find the afikomen and sing the seder songs. He told them that he was very proud of them and wished them a Happy Passover, but was now off to visit another home. While I foolishly thought this note was a brilliant tactic, it of course caused immediate tears. “Why did he leave??” George bawled. “Why didn’t we get to see him??” Goldie asked, crestfallen.Our Hebrew Bible presents Elijah as a miracle-worker (many of Jesus’ miracles are copies of stories about Elijah) and the greatest of all prophets, zealous to convince the wayward people of Israel to return to the covenant with God. The bible never tells us about Elijah’s death; rather, it says that he “was taken up to the sky.” As a result, our tradition relates to Elijah as if he is still present among us on certain occasions. Specifically, we sing about Elijah at havdalah (the ceremony at the end of Shabbat), we open the door for Elijah at the seder, and we set aside a chair for Elijah at a bris.What is the connection between these rituals? Shabbat happens once a week, Passover happens once a year, a bris happens once in a lifetime. Throughout the cycles of our week, our year, our life, we invoke Elijah at these regular intervals.Moreover, each time we celebrate Shabbat, gather for seder, or attend a bris, Elijah serves as a witness that remain faithful to God’s covenant. We call upon Elijah to affirm that after everything our people has been through, we are still here. We are still loyal partners in the covenant. And we still believe.Goldie and George certainly do.Chag sameach,Rabbi Michael S. Friedman
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Dear Friends,For the past several weeks I wondered what would come of the massive protests in Tel Aviv. Would these “anti-overhaul” and “pro-democracy” gatherings be effective? Would they force the government to change course?Part of me thought they might be the last gasp of Israel’s historic elite class: Ashkenazi, educated, Tel Aviv-based, secular. In recent years the tide of power had seemed to turn toward the long-overlooked Sephardic population, the religious Zionist community, and others. Those who once voted solidly for Labor have searched for a political home in other parties: Meretz, Yesh Atid, and Blue and White to name a few.Now we can say that this significant segment of Israel’s population has found its political home — not in a new party, but at the HaShalom Junction, at the base of the Azrieli Towers, and on the lanes of the Ayalon highway. The growing, consistent, massive protests in central Tel Aviv and elsewhere offered a wide array of Israelis a platform to express their opposition to the proposed reforms.In recent days the crisis has reached a turning point. For weeks the tech sector — crucial to Israel’s booming economy — has been warning that the government’s proposals put the future of its entire industry into peril. After certain IDF reserve units threatened not to serve Defense Minister Yoav Gallant was fired after saying, “The rift within our society is widening and penetrating the IDF. This is a clear and immediate and tangible danger to the security of the state.” Unions across several industries have gone on strike as a show of support, resulting in the partial closure of Ben Gurion Airport. Israel’s Consul General in New York has resigned, saying that he “feel[s] a deep sense of responsibility and moral obligation to stand up for what is right and fight for the democratic values that I hold dear.”All of this has prompted Prime Minister Netanyahu to announce a month-long postponement of his government’s reform plan. Israel’s civic crisis has been averted, for now. Individuals across the political spectrum are talking openly about finally (after almost 75 years) writing a full Constitution and are talking seriously about the interaction between religion and state.The protest movement has taught us several lessons. It has shown us how to apply political pressure where it is most effective, on MKs and ministers whose voices weigh most heavily with the public and with the ruling coalition. It has shown us that the defense and technology sectors continue to form the backbone of the State of Israel and that Israel’s security and economic success remain of paramount importance. It has shown us that there are limits to what PM Netanyahu can and will do. I am grateful that so many Israelis were willing to put their lives on hold and show up again and again for the democracy that they love.My hopefulness today is not unalloyed. I am concerned that extremists on the Israeli right wing will resort to violence as they have in the past. I am concerned that a full resolution (as opposed to a postponement) is still far from complete.Those concerns aside, today is a good day for the Jewish people and for the State of Israel.L’shalom,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,My early understanding of Israel and the Middle East was shaped as much as anyone by Thomas Friedman. His From Beirut to Jerusalem was the first serious work I read on the region. I continued to read his columns and books for many years. A couple of weeks ago, Mr. Friedman began his piece in The New York Times with a message for every rabbi in America. He wrote, “To stay silent about Israel today is to become irrelevant.”Well, Tom, I have news for you. Here at Temple Israel, we are not staying silent. I’ve given several sermons and written several Monday Messages to our congregation in recent months. After the new government was elected in November, I suggested that we should measure the new (or renewed) leadership by what it does, rather than on what pundits thought it might do. Later, soon after the New Year, I shared with you my grave concern over and opposition to the actions this government is taking. I have now seen that Israel’s leaders are intent on changing the basic structure of Israel’s democracy for their own personal and political benefit.The government aims to alter the way that judges are appointed. Under the proposed reforms Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu would be able to appoint judges who might throw out the three indictments he currently faces. The new structure would also make it much easier for the governing coalition to pass any legislation it chooses, without the check and balance of an independent judiciary.What’s coming after next is described by Rabbi Seth Farber, one of the most progressive Orthodox rabbis in Israel. He notes that the coalition agreement includes more than 100 clauses that would fundamentally alter the relationship between religion and state. They include changing rules regarding conversion, the way burial is carried out, the Law of Return, Shabbat and kashrut in the public sphere, and much more. In essence, this coalition is set to introduce legislation that would enshrine only one form of Judaism – the Orthodox Judaism as practiced by certain Members of Knesset – as the sole brand of Judaism that may be practiced in Israel.On the other side of the ledger, we have seen an incredibly motivated Israeli populace. Hundreds of thousands of Israeli citizens on the political center and left are demonstrating on Saturday and Thursday nights to protest against the proposed reforms. Several times 250,000 or more people have showed up in central Tel Aviv. That’s the equivalent of 8 or 9 million Americans – the entire population of New York City! – turning out to protest at once.Here at Temple Israel our values are clear: We love and support the State of Israel; we believe that the State of Israel is central to Jewish life. So the time is now. There are hundreds of thousands of Israelis with whom we would find significant agreement who are engaging in civil discourse and in the political process as never before. We may not sit on the sidelines.This past Shabbat our bar mitzvah Zach Goldfarb delivered a D’var Torah in which he reminded us of an essential commandment from Deuteronomy: “You must not remain indifferent.” Any of us who remains indifferent to the momentous events in Israel has, I would suggest, broken this commandment. We know we cannot remain indifferent to the world’s problems, all the more so the Jewish people’s problems. Thus I urge you to engage with Israel in some way at this point in time.First, I’m very pleased to announce a monthlong celebration of Israel’s 75th anniversary that will begin soon after Passover. Whether what’s going on in Israel troubles and upsets you, or inspires you and makes you proud, I invite you to attend the many events, services, and learning opportunities we will be hosting. Look for communications from TI soon.Second, we have proudly launched a congregational trip to Israel scheduled for December 20-31, 2023. There has never been a better time to see with our own eyes and hear with our own ears the miracles and tribulations of the people and the State of Israel. I invite you to join our clergy and your fellow congregants on what is sure to be the trip of a lifetime. Click here to learn more.Finally, I invite you to understand more about what’s going on in Israel by reading the Times of Israel or the Jerusalem Post, both of which are available free online.Especially now, we must not remain indifferent.L’shalom,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,We should all be very proud that refugee resettlement is now a longstanding social justice commitment of our congregation.In 2016 we joined 6 other congregations to form the Interfaith Refugee Resettlement Committee. In the summer of that year we welcomed the Al Masri family from Syria. Fortunately the family has flourished, and Mohammed Al Masri now serves as Iman of the Al Madany Center in Norwalk, one of Connecticut’s largest mosques.IRRC built on its initial success by resettling the extended Gharmal-Abdulzai family of 11 individuals from Afghanistan in 2021. TI members helped the family secure housing, provided transportation, taught English, helped them navigate the school system, and most importantly to find gainful professional employment. We are pleased to report that the Gharmal-Abdulzai family is now self-sufficient, just a little over a year after arriving in our neighborhood.In teaching us the core ethical principles of our tradition our Torah repeatedly emphasizes over and over, “…for you were strangers in the land of Egypt.” In other words, our Jewish commitment to providing for the stranger is based on our own historical experience. We know in our bones how it felt to be oppressed; therefore our task is to lift others out of oppression. More recently, we all have parents, grandparents, or great-grandparents who immigrated to our country at some point. Some members of our congregation are themselves immigrants. We know the stories they shared of adapting to a new cultural context, seeking work, and becoming part of the fabric of America. This refugee resettlement effort hits close to home for so many of us.I have been inspired to see a number of members of our congregation – across different demographics and backgrounds – contribute to these highly successful resettlement efforts over the past several years. To all of you who have helped the Al Masri and Gharmal-Abdulzai families in ways large or small, THANK YOU for helping us live by the best and most cherished values of our tradition.Now IRRC is set to receive our next refugee family from Syria later this week. Our volunteers have rented an apartment for them in Bridgeport and are committed to supporting them for a defined period of time until they are able to support themselves. We are now seeking new volunteers to help in the resettlement effort.We are all aware of the many awful tragedies of our world, and we are often at a loss about how to respond. Here we have before us a tangible, local, meaningful way to contribute and provide a bit of repair to our world. Volunteers are divided into task groups: communications, community guide, education, employment, financial literacy, healthcare, IT support, legal, social services and transportation. Some of these committees need a chair; all need volunteers.If you are interested in helping, please email TI’s co-chairs, Linda Mandel and Jay Horn.
Click here to send an email All are welcome and valued. Each of us has something to contribute. May we do so with generosity, patience, respect, and strength. L’shalom,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,Very fortunately, the “National Day of Hate” that fringe antisemitic groups planned for this past Saturday amounted to very little. But does that make any of us feel any better? Simply knowing that such groups and individuals are out there, and knowing they have the tools to broadcast their message far and wide, is disturbing.Somehow I was surprised to learn that last Tuesday’s premiere of the Broadway revival of Parade was beset by antisemitic demonstrations. The show tells the tragic story of Leo Frank, a Jewish man who was wrongfully convicted of murder and then lynched by a mob in Atlanta in 1915. Nonetheless the opening performances of Parade went smoothly and I invite you to join fellow TI members to see the show together on May 10 (please register by March 10).All of this is the context in which we will celebrate Purim with laughter and hilarity this Sunday. (Register now for our Shpiel and Carnival, Sunday March 5 at 10:30am.) Purim has always been a paradox; we recount the story of how Esther and Mordechai heroically saved the Jewish people from the designs of history’s first antisemite, celebrating with hamentashen, games, parody songs, and even a bit of alcohol.Perhaps Purim points to an essential truth: we have always been at a bit of a loss when it comes to how to deal with antisemitism. Scholar Deborah Lipstadt has written, “It is hard, if not impossible, to explain something that is essentially irrational, delusional and absurd.” I recently finished Amos Elon’s brilliant book The Pity of It All, which traces the narrative of German Jewry across the two centuries prior to the Holocaust. One learns that German Jews first pinned their dreams of acceptance on ingratiating themselves with the upper classes, then on their achievements in culture and academia, and finally on the promise of democracy. We all know what happened in the end.Leaders from the ADL’s Center on Extremism have noted that one of the American Jewish community’s most significant accomplishments in the second half of the 20th century is that we made it impossible for antisemites to publish or broadcast their opinions anywhere. However, the 21st century invention of social media gives every single person a platform. That has been coupled with the rise of political leaders unwilling to stand against antisemitism – or who even have even chosen to fan the flames for their own benefit. All of this has led to an era of renewed public antisemitism in which we find ourselves living.Yehuda Kurtzer brilliantly explores the many varied strategies today’s Jewish community is pursuing in his recent opinion piece, which I highly recommend. He advocates for a return to the systematic efforts of the 20th century: working as a united Jewish community rather than fractured factions, investing in partnerships and alliances with law enforcement and political leaders, and “supporting vibrant American democracy.”The work may be “unsexy,” as Kurtzer puts it, but it’s a proven path to combatting bigotry against us.L’shalom,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,There is a difficult paradox to being an American Jew. Many of us have strong feelings about the State of Israel. And because it’s the Jewish State, we feel we should have a say in the decisions Israel makes, the nature of its government, and the policies it enacts. Yet because we are not citizens, we do not pay taxes and we do not vote. Thus we have little say.As Israel’s new governing coalition was elected and formed over the past three months, I was troubled by some of what I read and observed but I urged us not to jump to conclusions. Now that the government has established itself, I believe we have several reasons to be deeply concerned. I am especially troubled that the new government is pushing for changes that will alter the essential nature of the State of Israel and alter the fundamental character of the Jewish State and the nature of Israeli democracy.Of greatest concern is Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s push for “judicial reform.” Netanyahu is currently under three corruption indictments. The “reform” he is proposing would give him and his ruling coalition unchecked power to appoint or remove judges, especially at the highest levels. The former Attorney General who indicted him has said that Bibi’s proposal would “destroy the independence of the entire legal system.” On the one hand, perhaps we should not be surprised at this proposal, which comes straight from the playbook of autocrats in places like Hungary, Brazil, Turkey and Russia. Nonetheless, that it is happening in Israel of all places is alarming. We Jews, among all peoples, know intimately the terrible dangers of autocracy.Second, the coalition has raised the possibility of changing the Law of Return. The Law of Return is one of Israel’s foundational “basic laws,” and enables anyone with one Jewish grandparent to claim citizenship. Coalition lawmakers have floated the idea of limiting more strictly who may claim citizenship, and who is counted as Jewish. As Reform Jews who value Jewish diversity and who prioritize the inclusion of Jewish families of all shapes and forms, this should concern us both in philosophy and in practice. I was heartened to see that the heads of major American Jewish organizations have publicly pushed back against such a proposal.Finally, although this government is duly elected by the people of Israel, it is concerning to me that these proposals were not presented to the electorate in any meaningful way prior to the election. Had they been, some voters might have made different choices at the ballot box.Fortunately, Israelis are using their voice and their power to stand up in any way they can. At least 70,000 Israelis gathered today in protest outside the Knesset, joining the hundreds of thousands of Israelis who have been demonstrating on Saturday nights for the past month.We too are obligated to demonstrate that we care, that we’re invested in Israel’s future, and that we have a compelling vision of Israel as safe, democratic, pluralistic, and aligned with Jewish values. I am frustrated because it can be difficult to figure out concrete and effective action steps to advise us to take. But I have a few suggestions:
- Support the Israel Movement for Progressive Judaism, Israel’s equivalent to our Reform movement, or the Israel Religious Action Center, one of the most effective organizations fighting for a just and egalitarian Israel.
- Listen to podcasts from the Shalom Hartman Institute, which have helped me gain a deeper understanding of politics, issues, the electorate, and social trends in Israel.
- Participate in TI’s upcoming Israel@75 series of programs in celebration of Israel’s 75th anniversary, which will take place this spring. We will soon launch a wide-ranging monthlong series of events, classes, services and other ways to engage with Israel at this crucial and milestone moment in her history.
At TI we know that the State of Israel is central to Jewish life everywhere. We love and support the State of Israel, while leaving room for a degree of disapproval. Most importantly, we will continue to engage with Israel at all times, both to cheer Israel’s triumphs and to provide whatever input is in our power to offer when we see Israel headed down the wrong path.May God bless and protect the State of Israel, delivering peace and joy to all who dwell there.Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,The photo above depicts my grandmother Rose’s family. She is the little girl on the left, in pink. They were a proud Jewish family from Vienna. Her older siblings were born there in the first decade of the 20th century. Her father then immigrated to America in 1910, worked for a couple of years, brought his family over in 1912, and my grandmother was born in 1913. She called herself the “reunion baby.”Other family members stayed in Vienna. My grandmother’s cousins Heddy and Leah made it out on the Kindertransport in 1938. When I moved to Jerusalem at age 22 I spent the first week or so staying with Leah at her apartment while I searched for my own place to live. Although she had lived in Israel for 50 years at that point and had been gone from Vienna for more than 60 years, I was surprised to find that her apartment remained a homage to the beloved city of her childhood.A few weeks ago, about 30 of us from TI attended a performance of Leopoldstadt, Tom Stoppard’s new play about a Viennese Jewish family spanning the years from 1899 to 1955. The family has risen from the shtetl, made money in manufacturing, advanced in education and culture, and joined the ranks of the bourgeoisie. This was a common story at the time. In fact, turn-of-the-century Vienna was a place of extraordinary Jewish creativity and achievement. Freud, Herzl, Mahler, Shoenberg, Wittgenstein and many others were a product of this particular place and time.Of course, financial success and cultural achievement did not prevent antisemitism from intruding in the lives of Viennese Jews. The specter of the Holocaust hovers menacingly over the opening scenes of Leopoldstadt, until it bursts full-fledged upon the family, as we all knowThe lesson for us is this: neither cultural assimilation nor achievement in whatever a society may value is a guarantee of our safety.At the end of the play, the family’s once-opulent apartment is reduced to bare bones and the once-crowded stage has dwindled to just three characters. Stoppard seems unsure of what’s left in the aftermath. The play ends with the three characters — an American Jew, the sole Viennese survivor, and a Brit who was hidden and acculturated (Stoppard himself) try in vain to understand one another and the world they’ve inherited.Fortunately, Leopoldstadt is not the end of our story. Our story most importantly moves forward with life. We are blessed to have a vital and growing Jewish community, which gathers in strong numbers and sings with heart each Shabbat. We are blessed to have the opportunity to celebrate joyous Jewish milestones, such as the wedding of Rabbi Zach Present and Cantor Jenna Mark last weekend. We are blessed to carry a commitment to stand up for the oppressed and vanquish evil wherever it may be found. And we are blessed to carry the legacy of generations within us.The descendants of our family who made it out of Vienna now number in the dozens. Our daughter, Goldie Rose, is proudly named for my grandmother, Rose Goldberg, the little girl in the photo above. May she — and all of us — carry her name throughout her life with strength and our family story with pride.L’shalom,Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,By Friday afternoon, the sun is sinking low and our spirits with it. With the demands of the week accumulated in our tense shoulders and tired minds, we long for a release and an exhale. We, your clergy, feel just this way every week we head into Shabbat. Then you, our beloved congregants, start to filter into the sanctuary and the sight of your faces uplifts us. We spend the next hour with you in song, celebration, contemplation, and comfort. By 7:30 when our service ends, we have collectively moved from depleted to replenished, from distracted to centered. What enables this powerful shift?First, the sweet surprises: Our Friday night service has become a place where we mark milestone moments together. On our bima over the past several months, we have welcomed new-Jews (people who recently converted), celebrated milestone wedding anniversaries, and blessed couples about to be married (as we did with our own Rabbi Zachary Plesent this past Friday). If you are marking a milestone – a big anniversary, an upcoming wedding, a baby naming, a conversion – please reply to this email and let us know, so we can celebrate you on Shabbat too.Second, the soulful music: The presence of our full professional band fills our sanctuary with beautiful sounds and lifts our prayers higher. I sometimes share new songs with you, breathing fresh life into timeless texts, while always including time-honored favorites too. Singing actually lowers our heart rates and slows our breathing. When we do it together, we synchronize our stress release and amplify our calm. Which brings me to the third reason…The powerful sense of community. Whether you are live-streaming or sitting in the pews, you know something extraordinary happens when we come together. We surround mourners in their grief, ask for healing, hear the voices of our Kesher learners and b’nei mitzvah students who help lead us, and celebrate life’s joyous rites of passage. Coming to Shabbat can also help us find solace in the wake of antisemitic violence in Israel and around the world. Together, we remember that we are not alone.The sweet surprises, soulful music, and powerful sense of community all combine to make our time together sacred and so worthwhile. We know you are tired by Friday afternoon – we are too. We invite you to come as you are and be part of the magic that is happening in our community every single week. And in addition to our weekly gatherings, we have also set aside several special Shabbats over the coming months. We are including these at the bottom of this email, so you can save those dates and plan to join us.See you this Friday and every Friday at 6:30p, in person and on the stream.Warmly,Cantor Julia Cadrain
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Dear Friends,Whenever people ask me what I love about being a rabbi, one of my first responses is that I treasure being with people at the most significant moments of their lives. Each and every life cycle I officiate is special to me.This past Shabbat, Cantor Cadrain and I had the honor of officiating the bat mitzvah of Amanda Lessing. Amanda’s bat mitzvah was joyous and memorable because of her poise, commitment, insight, and self-motivated accomplishment. It was also very special to me because it was the fourth b’nei mitzvah I have officiated with the Lessing family. Amanda’s older brothers Justin, Jason and Jared all became bar mitzvah on our bima in recent years. Justin is now a sophomore in college, Jason a senior in high school, and Jared a sophomore in high school.
I have now been a rabbi for 18 years and been TI’s senior rabbi for the past 8. Throughout my career it has been extraordinarily meaningful to me to get to know families through one life cycle, then accompany them through another milestone later on – hopefully a happy one rather than a sad one.For example, I got to know the Spencer family during my years at Central Synagogue and officiated their daughter Naomi’s baby naming there. They moved to Weston soon before I came to Temple Israel in 2014. Next fall Naomi will have the distinction of being the first child I have both named and bat mitzvahed!Another example: one of the first weddings I officiated after ordination was that of Sarah and Seth Brody. We reconnected here in Connecticut a few years ago and I had the pleasure of working closely with their son Eli as he prepared to become bar mitzvah in Israel. Then I was thrilled to officiate the bat mitzvah of their daughter Zoe last year on the bima here at TI.There are a number of similar stories that I could share. To each and every one of our Temple Israel families, thank you for trusting me enough to allow me to accompany you on the most significant days of your lives. It has been a joy to watch your children grow. It has been an honor to journey with you from stage to stage. You have brough depth and purpose to my own life. For that, and for so much more, I am very grateful.L’shalom,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,Last Monday, I witnessed the following phrase on a sign: “In essentials, unity; in nonessentials, liberty; and in all things love.”This weekend, we began the book of Exodus, about the Hebrews’ experience of going from slavery to liberty. Today we commemorate the life of Martin Luther King Jr., a man who preached liberty, unity and love. Knowing he spoke at Temple Israel, we want to lift up his words and life. You can read more about his relationship with TI here. His life and that of the Jewish people are both intricately connected to the phrase I saw.The second part of the statement sparked a challenge: “in nonessentials, liberty.” Dr. King would argue that the idea of “in nonessentials, liberty” is mistaken. For in his America yes, racism, segregation and so much more were seen as nonessentials. Only in a nation where these horrors are seen as essential flaws to how we treat individuals, can the beleaguered among us find liberty. For these ills are only some causes of the pain and degradation felt by those seen as less than.Our Torah too would argue that “in nonessentials, liberty” is a mistaken statement. For in our Jewish experience, we recall that liberty and freedom were the ultimate goal as we attempted to release the shackles of our experience of slavery. We weren’t seeking a nonessential though. In fact, we sought freedom to have food, safety and security, and freedom to pray in the way we wanted. None of those needs are nonessential – they are of ultimate importance. In that case, we of course united and sought liberty as Pharaoh sought to limit our abilities to life.Here we see the culmination of the idea that unity is essential to fight for liberty. Slavery and racism are absolutely nonessentials from which we need freedom and liberty, both historically and in our world today. For today we still see evidence of slavery and racism. We still recognize that we are culpable of standing back when we know so clearly the repercussions of others not using their voices to support us.In that way, I want to push each of us to take a stand. Yes, for essentials that require our unity. And for these elements which the world has claimed repeatedly are nonessential but which in fact are of utmost importance. For acknowledging racism and acting against it. For noticing when you yourself promulgate hate and ceasing to do so.We learn poignantly from Dr King: “So let us stand in this convention knowing that on some positions; cowardice asks the questions, is it safe; expediency asks the question, is it politic; vanity asks the question, is it popular, but conscious asks the question, is it right. And on some positions, it is necessary for the moral individual to take a stand that is neither safe, nor politic nor popular; but he must do it because it is right.” I invite you to join me to take a moral stand because it is right.Yours in unity, liberty and love,
Rabbi Elana Nemitoff-Bresler -
Dear Friends,I once sat with a father and his adult son who were navigating a very difficult period in their relationship. In a moment of frustration the son accused his father of coddling him; of not preparing him for the harsh realities of the world. It was an unfair accusation. But the father responded brilliantly: “If my greatest sin is that I loved you too much, so be it.”This past Shabbat we read Parashat Vayechi, which concludes the Book of Genesis. We reached the final chapter of the weeks-long saga of our ancestor Jacob and his son Joseph. Jacob grew up in a home in which he was not loved enough. Jacob’s father all but ignored him in favor of his more outgoing and vigorous older brother. In turn, Jacob over-compensates when it comes to his son Joseph, showering gifts and affection upon Joseph, publicly identifying him as the most favored child in a family of 13. Jacob’s overzealous love for Joseph breeds a jealousy so fierce that it tears the family apart.In this Torah portion, the family has been reunited and old wounds have (mostly) been healed. Jacob insists that he not be buried in Egypt, where the family currently resides, and makes his family promise to bury him in the ancestral family plot in Israel. Although Jacob left the land of Israel and endured plenty of family drama, he never turned his back on his homeland.And neither should we. Israel’s new government should give us cause for concern. In particular, the Jewish Power party is led by individuals who have a history and pattern of inciting and celebrating violence against Palestinians and Arab Israelis. They have advocated to eliminate minority rights, have openly expressed homophobia, and oppose religious pluralism including rights for Reform and Conservative Jews.At the same time, no matter who is in power, no matter the composition of the government, none of us should turn our backs on the State of Israel. I would ask us not to panic and to keep in mind the following:
- Israel’s leaders are not elected to guaranteed four-year (or even two-year) terms. Israel’s recent election was its 5th in 3 1/2 years. This coalition may thus prove to be just as short-lived as others recently have been.
- Israel’s prior government was the most diverse in its history, and for the first time included Arab Israeli parties in the governing coalition. The current governing coalition is in some ways a reaction to the one that preceded it.
- Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu nominated Amir Ohana, who is openly gay, to be Speaker of the Knesset. He is the first LGBTQ individual to serve in that role. And unlike in our US House of Representatives, MK Ohana was resoundingly elected on the very first ballot. In addition, PM Netanyahu appointed a relatively liberal colleague, Amichai Shikli, the son of a Conservative rabbi, to serve as Minister for Diaspora Affairs and Minister of Social Equality. He will have significant influence in protecting and expanding rights for women, LGBTQ individuals and liberal Jews.
It is all too easy to withhold our love from someone when we’re frustrated or disappointed in them. Similarly, there are times when it is tempting to withhold our love from the State of Israel. Please, let us not turn our backs. Let’s love and support Israel as we always do. Let’s travel to Israel this year – TI has TWO congregational trips planned, an interfaith trip in May and a family adventure in December.Let our sin be that we loved Israel too much; that we visited Israel even when we were annoyed or frustrated; that we supported Israel even when doing so may have felt difficult or unpopular. We would do the same with members of our own family, and Israel is surely family.May God bless and sustain the State of Israel, where we live out the age-old hopes of Jewish souls throughout generations, where we are a free and secure people in our own land, where we – God willing! – one day live in peace and safety with one another and with our neighbors. Ken yehi ratzon, May it be so.Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,Toward the end of Chanukah I read a fascinating piece by Daniel Gordis, one of the Jewish world’s most insightful commentators. Although Chanukah concluded more than a week ago, his main point stunned me and so I thought I would share it with you.The greatest miracle of Chanukah, Gordis contends, is not that the oil lasted for eight days. The greatest miracle is that the Maccabees lit the oil at all.When the Maccabees reconquered the Temple and found just one vessel of oil, they might as well have given up. There was no way they would have oil for tomorrow. You see, it took quite some time to harvest, press and sanctify each vessel of sacred oil for use in the Temple. The oil was needed to light the 7-branched menorah, which marked the days of the week through Shabbat. It was among the most sacred of obligations to keep that menorah lit.As Gordis writes, “If the Maccabees found only enough oil for one day, during which time they would never be able to prepare additional oil, what was the point of lighting it? But light it they did.”To what can this be compared? Realizing your car doesn’t even have enough gas to make it to the gas station, yet starting it up and heading out anyway. though you know you don’t even have enough fuel to get to the next gas station. To baking a cake, even though you don’t have any eggs or sugar in the house.For the Maccabees to light that vessel of oil, attempting to count the full week until Shabbat, knowing there was no way to make more oil for tomorrow, was the ultimate act of chutzpah. They had enough faith, courage and hope to light the oilTo be Jewish is to light that single jar of oil, even though we have no idea how we will procure any more.To be Jewish is to take one step, even if we are not sure where the next step might lead.To be Jewish is to see a path forward, where others saw only dead ends.As we look back on this Chanukah season may we be inspired by the Maccabees, who had enough faith, courage and hope to kindle that single vessel of oil. Its light — like that of a faraway star — continues to reach us today. May the miracle continue forever and ever.L’shalom,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman
2022
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Dear Friends,“My family has a special Chanukah tradition,” Rachel told me as we were discussing her upcoming bat mitzvah. I love how almost every Jewish family has its own unique ways of celebrating holidays we all share. So of course I wanted to hear more.“You know how some families give presents each night of Chanukah? Well we give presents on many of the nights, but we choose one night and instead of giving gifts we take the money we would have spent on gifts and we give to tzedakah.” I was intrigued, and asked Rachel to tell me more. She described a very thoughtful process by which her family discussed what issues and causes were most important to them that year, determined an amount to contribute, and then decided where to direct their tzedakah. I immediately wished that every family could have the same experience.Thanks to Rachel, Give a Night of Chanukah was born.This year we encourage each Temple Israel family make tzedakah part of your Chanukah celebration by directing the amount you would ordinarily spend on one night of gifts to tzedakah instead. Below you will find some suggested tzedakah options that are important to our congregation. Of course, you can also feel free to choose a charity that is important to you.Annual Fund for Temple Israel Your generous contributions support our high-quality livestream, our security infrastructure, our excellent Shabbat music. Moreover you keep TI open to all, regardless of financial capacity. Thank you for helping us dream, experiment, innovate and thrive.CONECT Congregations Organized for a New Connecticut is Temple Israel’s interfaith social justice network. We build relationships across the religious, racial and socio-economic spectrum to make structural change on issues of shared importance such as gun violence, healthcare, immigrants’ rights, and criminal justice reform.Homes With Hope HWH provides emergency shelter, supportive housing and food assistance to all in need in the Westport community. TI partners with HWH to provide weekly meals at Gillespie Center downtown, semi-annual food drives for their food pantry, and support throughout the year.If you like, you can add a special blessing when lighting your menorah this Thursday, dedicating one candle as a ner shel tzedakah.Each year at this time I think of Rachel, who showed me how we can use the generosity of Chanukah to pursue tikkun olam – the repair of our broken world.Chag urim sameach,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,We all have friends who joke that if the next election doesn’t go the way they favor, “I’m moving to Canada.” Some of us have said that ourselves. But I don’t know anyone who has actually gone through with it.However I do know some people who have exercised their right to claim citizenship in certain European Union nations. Germany, for example, offers citizenship to descendants of those whose citizenship was denied on racial or religious grounds between 1933-1945. Spain and Portugal offer citizenship to those who can prove descent from Sephardic Jews who were forced to leave centuries ago.Some American Jews are obtaining citizenship abroad for what I’ll call a “just in case” scenario. It is strange to me that Jews are seeking safety in Europe, where our people was nearly annihilated not so long ago. It’s also strange to me because Israel is a viable option. Any of us can go to JFK tonight, get on a plane, land in Tel Aviv tomorrow and easily become a citizen of the State of Israel.The face that American Jews are thinking about where we might go speaks to the deep concern we all feel regarding antisemitism in the United States.Many have asked, Is today equivalent Germany in the 1930s? I answer unequivocally: NO. By and large we continue to enjoy peace, prosperity and opportunity. We enjoy civil and legal protection. We enjoy the support and friendship of our neighbors. Nonetheless I wonder, How will we know when it’s time to get out? In fact, I am haunted by this question.Leaders at the ADL’s Center on Extremism makes an incisive point. One of the American Jewish community’s most significant accomplishments in the second half of the 20th century was that we made it taboo to express antisemitism in public. No one who harbored such views could get them published or broadcast anywhere.But we have seen two significant shifts in the 21st century.The first is the rise of social media, which allows anyone anywhere to express anything at any time. Kanye and Kyrie are able to broadcast their views to millions of followers. Social media has allowed those with a platform to give antisemitism social legitimacy.The second is that individuals in positions of power have given antisemitism political legitimacy. When the former president – who is also the leading candidate for the presidency in 2024 – dines with a notorious antisemite, he gives antisemitism political legitimacy in our nation. We all know that he has refused to renounce white supremacy, and referred to “good people on both sides” in Charlottesville. Last week longtime Jewish supporters of Trump finally had enough and denounced Trump’s association with Nick Fuentes. Top Republicans including Sen. Mitch McConnell and Rep. Kevin McCarthy (belatedly) did the same.It is heartening to see politicians at the highest echelons of power drawing the line, calling out antisemitism and defining it as completely out of bounds. What allowed the Holocaust to happen was that 1930s Germany enabled the Holocaust to happen? First, as scholars have shown, antisemitic tropes and language and themes became part and parcel of German society over the course of decades and even centuries. Then, out of this rich broth of antisemitism, the most virulent antisemites in history were voted into power. They set to work codifying antisemitism into law.So what are the two factors I’m looking for? First, I’m looking to see whether antisemitism will be legitimated in society. Second, I’m looking to see whether antisemitism will be codified into law. On Friday, President Biden felt the need to say publicly that “the Holocaust happened” and call upon fellow political leaders to “call out and reject antisemitism wherever it hides.”To be sure, antisemitism is present on both sides of the political spectrum. On the right it’s easier to identify: it often takes the form of physical threat such as the attack at Tree of Life Synagogue in Pittsburgh, or the form of a hateful person advocating for a white Christian nation whose definition does not include us. On the left antisemitism is more difficult to identify. It often takes the form of challenging Jewish voice and Jewish legitimacy – especially the legitimacy of the State of Israel. Let me be clear: anti-Zionism is equivalent to antisemitism.Ultimately we know that regardless of the form of antisemitism we may face, it is up to us – the Jewish community – to draw the line. Will we allow antisemitism to fester its way to acceptability? Will antisemitism enter into the highest echelons of political power? Will we allow discrimination and hatred to be enshrined into law?We do not live in Germany in the 1930s. But we might use this period of time to consider what the warning signs might be. What is the canary in our very lush coal mine? What are we looking for? What are we listening for? How will we know when we are no longer safe and might have to seek shelter elsewhere?The American Jewish community is strong, proud, prosperous and powerful. We are fortunate to have many allies and friends. There has arguably never been a better era to be Jewish. At the same time, we are facing challenges unprecedented in my lifetime. We have a powerful voice. We have unprecedented political power. Let’s use it, before it’s too late.L’shalom,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,For over a decade, I struggled.Each Shabbat a bar or bat mitzvah would proudly and skillfully read from the Torah. Then we would turn to haftarah, the accompanying selection (haftarah means “completion”) from our Biblical prophets. Our prophets spoke and wrote in gorgeous ancient Hebrew poetry over 2500 years ago. In their day, their words had great depth and impact. However as the millennia have passed, their metaphor and language have become quite foreign to us. So week by week I struggled to explain the context and meaning of that morning’s text.I grew frustrated. Our prophets have bequeathed to us some of the most significant words in all of Jewish tradition. Prophetic texts are central to the ideology and practice of Reform Judaism. And yet I struggled to find ways to make sense of something that lacked compelling relevance in 2022.Moreover, I wanted our b’nei mitzvah students and our congregants to have more exposure to the best of our prophetic tradition. If rabbis long ago could choose prophetic verses that they deemed to be important in their day, it seemed to me that a rabbi today could similarly choose verses suited to our own context and needs. Thus our clergy team set out to rethink haftarah for Temple Israel.First, we chose what we believe to be the “greatest hits” of our prophetic tradition. These are the texts we believe are most essential to 21st century Reform Judaism, and they are listed below for you to read and ponder on your own. Moreover, we wondered what it would be like if, rather than simply being handed a text, students got to choose their own haftarah portion. Would our students take greater ownership of the words they are reading? And might our congregation pay greater attention to the message of our prophets knowing that the b’nei mitzvah had personally chosen the text because its message spoke to them in some way?Next, Rabbi Plesent and Rabbi Nemitoff-Bresler crafted a learning experience for our b’nei mitzvah students that would address questions such as: What is a haftarah portion? Who were the prophets? And, how do their words impact our lives today? Our students began this workshop last spring. They engaged with the topic, studied the “greatest hits,” asked good questions, chose a haftarah portion, and then wrote a paragraph about why they selected the portion they did.Meanwhile, Cantor Cadrain reshaped our b’nei mitzvah preparation process with greater flexibility and individualization so that our students and tutors would get the most out of this re-envisioned concept.I thank my clergy colleagues for their commitment to innovation and their willingness to experiment. I thank our congregation for its ongoing support as we endeavor to make Jewish tradition come alive every day. And I thank this fall’s b’nei mitzvah students – Alex, Sam, Lexi, Chloe, Avery, Addison, Levi, Owen, Mateo, Sadie and Tyler – who engaged with their haftarah with invigorated interest and passion, enabling the words of our prophets live in our own day.L’shalom,
Rabbi Michael S. FriedmanTI’s “Greatest Hits” of the ProphetsMicah 6:3-8So how shall we thank God? How shall we worship God?God has shown you what is good and what is required of you:Simply to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with God.Zechariah 7:9-10Execute true justice, show mercy and compassion to every neighbor.Do not mistreat the widow or the orphan, the alien or the poor.Do not plot evil against one another.Amos 5:22-24If you offer me burnt offerings or sacrifices I will not accept them;I will pay no heed to your gifts of animals,Spare me your praying and singing.But let Justice well up like water; righteousness like a mighty stream.Isaiah 1:16-18Wash yourselves clean, put your evil doings away from My sight.Cease to do evil, learn to do good;Devote yourselves to justice, aid those who have been wronged,Uphold the rights of the orphan, defend the cause of the widow.Though your sins are scarlet, they can be as pure white;Though they are red like crimson, they can be clean as fresh snow.Isaiah 40:1-2Comfort, O comfort my people,Says your God.Speak tenderly to Jerusalem,And declare to her that her term of service is overThat her sins are forgiven.Micah 4:4Everyone shall sit under their own grapevine and fig tree,and no one shall make them afraid,For it was Adonai who spoke… and we shall walk in the name of Adonai forever and ever.Isaiah 42:5-8I, Adonai, have summoned you, I have taken you by the hand.I created you and have appointed you as a people of the covenant,A light to the nations.Isaiah 2:3-4In the days to come, the top of The Eternal’s house shall stand firm above themountains and tower above the hills; and all the nations shall gaze on it with joy.And many people shall go and say: “come, let us go up to the Mount of The Eternal,to the house of the god of Jacob, and God will instruct us in God’s ways,and that we may walk in God’s path. From Zion the Torah shall go forth, the wordof The Eternal from Jerusalem.” And God will judge among the nations and many peoples,And they shall beat their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruninghooks: Nation shall not take up sword against nation; neither shall they learn waranymore. O, House of Jacob! Come, let us walk by the light of the Eternal.Isaiah 58:1-8On the day when you fast, you do as you please. You take advantage of all of your workers.You argue and fight. You are violent.Is that what you call a fast? Do you think I can accept that?No, this is the way I want you to fast:Set free those who are held in chains without any reason.Untie the ropes that hold people as slaves.Share your food with hungry people.Provide the homeless with a place to stay.Give naked people clothes to wear.Provide for the needs of your own family.Then the light of my blessing will shine on you like the rising sun.Judges 4:4-7Deborah, wife of Lappidot, was a prophetess; she led Israel at that time. She used to sit under the Palm of Deborah, between Ramah and Bethel in the hill country of Ephraim, and the Israelites would come to her for decisions. She summoned Barak son of Abinoam, of Kedesh in Naphtali, and said to him, “Adonai, the God of Israel, has commanded: Go, march up to Mount Tabor, and take with you ten thousand men of Naphtali and Zebulun. And I will draw Sisera, Jabin’s army commander, with his chariots and his troops, toward you up to the Wadi Kishon; and I will deliver him into your hands.” -
Dear Friends,I have been proud to see Jewish values publicly displayed in recent weeks. I have also been fascinated by the range of values that we have applied in differing situations.In response to Kanye West and Kyrie Irving, the Jewish community by and large responded with unity of voice, concern for our fellow Jews, and prioritization of our own safety. We called out and clearly named antisemitism when it was expressed. We made sure that everyone understood the danger of insidious antisemitic tropes and speech. The same could be said about the Jewish community’s response to Pennsylvania gubernatorial candidate Doug Mastriano, who was defeated on Election Day by Josh Shapiro. To his credit, Shapiro has been very public about his Jewish observance and often quoted the ancient rabbinic wisdom of Pirkei Avot (“Chapters of our Fathers”) on the campaign trail.In contrast, the reaction to Dave Chapelle’s SNL monologue was far more varied. However it too was motivated by deeply-held Jewish values – a different yet no less important set. For generations we have cherished open debate, the multiplicity of opinions, honest inquiry and dialogue, and of course the power of humor to question assumptions. Some felt Chapelle was very funny, many were made uncomfortable by certain statements, and others thought that given the circumstances the entire monologue was inappropriate. I was grateful that the morning after his SNL appearance we were able to have an open and productive conversation about it at TI. Participants expressed a broad range of views, and we listened to one another with interest and respect. A few days later Jon Stewart’s thoughtful public response added yet more depth to the Jewish community’s dialogue, as he advocated for brave in-depth conversations about antisemitism rather than immediate dismissal.We are fortunate to have a wealth of cherished Jewish values that we carry from generation to generation. Let us carefully choose which set of Jewish values to apply in each specific situation. And once we have chosen which to use, let us proudly express those values – in our homes, at TI, and in the public sphere.Wishing you a healthy and joyous Thanksgiving holiday,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,Voting is a contemporary Jewish mitzvah. We hardly need to be reminded that for the majority of our history we Jews had absolutely no say in determining who governed us. We are now quite fortunate to live in a time and a place in which we can freely assert our Jewish values, protect our interests and expand the rights of all Americans through our participation in the democratic process.In yesterday’s Kesher program we taught our learners that each of them has a powerful voice that can be used to the change the world. The same is true of each of us. Click here to watch “I Have a Voice” by Elana Arian, performed by Cantor Julia Cadrain.We, your TI clergy team, urge all eligible voters to use your voice tomorrow. You can preview your town’s ballot here.Our interfaith community-organizing group, CONECT, does not endorse candidates or parties. But CONECT has decided to officially support the proposed non-partisan constitutional amendment to permit early voting in Connecticut. Currently 46 states allow early voting; this proposal would enable the legislature to establish a period of in-person voting prior to the designated election day. This measure will expand access for those who are ill or infirm, those with mobility challenges, those who work weekdays during voting hours, those who may have childcare or eldercare responsibilities, and many more. You can read the full text and explanation of the ballot question here. Quite simply, the establishment of early voting will enable more individuals to fulfill the mitzvah of voting.We look forward to seeing you at the polls tomorrow.Rabbi Michael S. Friedman
Cantor Julia Cadrain
Rabbi Elana Nemitoff-BreslerRabbi Zachary A. Plesent
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Dear Friends,At first I did not want to write to you, or deliver a sermon, or teach a session about Kanye West. I thought, “Why should we care about what one guy in the entertainment and fashion industry thinks? Why should we take him seriously?”Then Rabbi Plesent pointed out to me that Ye, as he wants to be known, has an estimated 50 million followers on social media. That’s more than three times the number of Jews on earth.In addition to his enormous social media reach, it became clear that Ye had used a series of media appearances to express a broad range and depth of antisemitic conspiracies. All of this led ADL CEO Jonathan Greenblatt to call him, “the most well-known, widely heard, brazen antisemite on the planet.” You can review the full extent of Ye’s antisemitic remarks on the ADL’s website.It was therefore expected that Adidas, Gap and other corporations would cut ties with Ye. But the best way to counter Ye’s antisemitism is for other people with similar reach to courageously speak up. Fortunately we have a number of significant examples of which we should be proud.Asif Satchu, Modi Wiczyk and Scott Tenley of industry-leading MRC Entertainment decided not to distribute their recently-completed documentary about Kanye West. They wrote a brilliant and insightful statement that begins, “Kanye is a producer and sampler of music. Last week he sampled and remixed a classic tune that has charted for over 3000 years – the lie that Jews are evil and conspire to control the world for their own gain.” I encourage you to read the piece in its entirety here.YouTube star Casey Neistat spoke to his millions of followers about his Jewish identity with clear pride. Robert Kraft, the Jewish owner of the New England Patriots, paid for a 30-second commercial about antisemitism that aired during yesterday’s Pats-Jets game. There have been a number of other prominent examples as well.Still, this topic deserves more conversation and reflection – especially here at TI. I therefore invite you to join me on Sunday, November 13, at 9am as together we delve into the many questions and issues surrounding Kanye, antisemitism and cancel culture.L’shalom,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,Prime Minister Ehud Barak’s visit tomorrow will be an historic moment for Temple Israel. His visit is also personally significant to me because Mr. Barak’s time in office coincided with the year I lived in Israel, 1999-2000. In effect, he was my prime minister.That year was unlike any other in the history of the State of Israel. Those of us who lived through the 1990s vividly recall the optimism of the Oslo peace process. That process was cut short with the tragic assassination of PM Yitzhak Rabin in 1995. A period of violent terrorist bombings followed, making the late 90s a period of uncertainty and instability.However, PM Barak’s election coincided with a new stage for Israel. The year that I lived in Israel there was not a single bombing or missile attack. Israelis began to regularly travel to the West Bank, to explore Jericho or Ramallah — places they had not previously dared or desired to go. One day a friend and I cut class and took a bus from East Jerusalem to Gaza for a guided tour of the Gaza strip. Sadly, today that would be unimaginable.So much of this was due to the leadership of PM Barak. Of course, we recall that he resumed talks with Yasir Arafat, culminating in the dramatic Camp David meeting in the summer of 2000. He also held in-depth face-to-face talks with Syria’s leader Hafez Assad. He withdrew IDF troops from southern Lebanon, ending a two-decade occupation. That year it felt like the messianic era of peace was just around the corner.It felt like we were living in a time when the vision of our ancient Hebrew prophets might become reality: that swords might be beaten into plowshares, that the lion might lie down with the lamb, that each person might sit without fear under their own vine or fig tree, and that all of humanity might converge upon Jerusalem in friendship and harmony. Lifelong enemies, it seemed, could become friends. It felt like the Jewish prophetic dream for the world might finally be fulfilled. I saw it. I lived it.Thus, to me, Ehud Barak represents the very best of Jewish leadership. He’s the most decorated soldier in the history of the IDF. Then when he became Prime Minister, he staked his political fortunes and indeed his entire reputation on overcoming lifelong hatreds and animosities. He did it, as he recounts in his memoir, not because of some idealistic vision but because he believed that doing so was in the best interest of Israel’s security.Today we know that PM Barak’s efforts didn’t quite come to fruition. The 2500-year vision didn’t become reality. Arafat left a potential deal on the table. Talks with Assad didn’t amount to much in the end. Maybe these aren’t bad outcomes, given that Israel is in pretty good shape these days.But here’s what’s most important: If the vision could almost come true 20 years ago, then the vision is possible. Maybe we can make happen in our own day. PM Barak had the courage to peek beyond the world as it is and help us glimpse the world as it might be.I look forward to seeing you tomorrow night.L’shalom,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,Since my arrival here at Temple Israel, I’ve worked to bring a new paradigm that will elevate our educational program. The world of Jewish education has shifted dramatically away from frontal teaching and sitting at desks towards interactive, experiential learning. Today Kesher: The Center for Jewish Life encompasses all the ways we engage with K-12 families through our dynamic learning programs, youth programs (@KesherYouth and BBYO), and family programs. We believe that Jewish learning can happen in all parts of a learner’s life, at TI and beyond. Thus we help every individual explore their Jewish self through our core values of connection, community, holiness, and love.Kesher (connection)We see every experience and person as a snapshot in the continuum and narrative of Jewish time and life, made more holy through our relationship to Torah, tradition, God, and community.Ahava (love)We provide a supportive, inclusive, and non-competitive environment that values all individuals for their uniqueness and supports them on their individual journeys.Kedusha (spirituality)We recognize that we are part of something much larger than ourselves that we access through prayer, gratitude, meditation, questions, wonder, awe and seeing the Divine in every human being.Kehilah (community)We create shared experiences that connect us to one another, to tradition, God and the world.This year, we’ve transitioned to using language in Kesher that better reflects these Kesher values. Our teachers are now our educators, our students are now our learners, and our classrooms are now learning spaces. This language transforms the way we think about the people who walk in our doors and what they will experience each day.A teacher executes specific lessons in a school setting but an excellent educator goes beyond that, teaching the whole person. They make sure that the learning reaches a learner’s heart and soul.A learner is engaged and active in their learning, whether they are 2 or 92. At Kesher we are mindful that our learners are the children enrolled in our program, their parents and grandparents, and the entire TI community.Our learning spaces are any place where learning takes place, from what was traditionally called the classroom to TI’s lawn, our sanctuary or playground, to the apple orchard, to the zoo. We look forward to using all possible spaces to engage our learners and help them connect to the entire world around them.With a full understanding of what we’re trying to accomplish, we hope you will be our enthusiastic partners in making Kesher the Jewish learning program we dream of creating for our children.Our Kesher program begins this Sunday, September 11, for ALL families at 10a. We have a special, Kesher family program from 10-11 and then ShalomFest will begin right afterwards. Please sign up for ShalomFest here.Our regular Kesher classes will begin Monday, September 12.L’Shalom,
Rabbi Elana Nemitoff-Bresler -
Dear Friends,About 900 years ago Judah Halevi, a great rabbi-philosopher-poet of our tradition, wrote:My heart is in the East,
And I am far to the West.
How can I have joy and fulfillment
While my eyes long to glimpse Jerusalem?Judah Halevi’s passion led him to undertake an arduous journey by foot, boat and horse from his home in Spain to Jerusalem. According to legend, he died just as he set foot through the gates of the Old City.I arrived in Israel this morning. Though my journey was far less difficult, I am no less thrilled to be here. I type these words to you while watching the sun set from the rooftop of my hotel in Jerusalem. It is a truly glorious view.This is my first visit to Israel since a TI trip in 2019. I’m here for a short 3-day stay, most concretely to officiate two joyous b’nei mitzvah ceremonies at the Kotel. But this visit — as is every visit to Israel — is so much more than that. Part of my heart is here, in the East, in Israel and Jerusalem.At Temple Israel we believe that the State of Israel is essential to Jewish life. More specifically, we believe that the State of Israel is essential to our Jewish lives.As a rabbi, I have devoted my life to the vitality and flourishing of the Jewish people. I love Israel because it’s where we are most creative, most resilient, most vibrant and most alive. Thus I gain a degree of inspiration and spiritual sustenance just from breathing the air, walking the streets, conversing in Hebrew and visiting my favorite restaurants.My hope for our congregation is that each of us will make Israel a core part of our Jewish lives. There are so many ways we can do this.- In the upcoming election, let’s make sure all candidates for federal office will support and sustain the State of Israel.
- Let’s teach our children and grandchildren to love Israel, perhaps by talking to them about why Israel is so important to us.
- I invite you to join us for a once-in-a-lifetime event when former Prime Minister Ehud Barak speaks at Temple Israel on September 20. Register here to attend.
- Finally, I hope you will commit to visiting Israel soon. We have an incredible interfaith trip planned for May 2023 and are in the early stages of planning a family trip for December 2023. We are happy to talk to you about either of these opportunities any time.
Let’s make “Next year in Jerusalem” a reality.L’shalom, in peace,Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,The extended family of Afghan refugees that Temple Israel, along with six other faith institutions, has sponsored for resettlement has now resided in our community for more than half a year. I’m pleased to share with you this update on their progress from Linda Mandel, a member of our Board of Trustees and TI’s lead volunteer. It is full of good news and hope, healthy doses of which we can all use these days.Linda writes:Every institution within the Interfaith Refugee Resettlement Coalition should be proud that our cooperation has succeeded here. Naiveté along with discipline, sheer willpower, luck and lots of good people made finding our Afghan family employment a wonderful success story.First, Teri Beckoff from Temple Israel knew a Pakistani immigrant family whose daughter works as a pharmacist at CVS. Maryam applied for a pharmacy assistant position with CVS in Bridgeport, and she got the job. She is treasured by her workmates and is happily taking home a nice salary.Tamana found Bright Beginnings on her own. She wanted a teaching job and got it, negotiating the salary and hours that met her criteria. She is very happy with the position and her employers are happy with her.Teri Beckoff’s firm had an opening for a 6-week temporary position that Ahmad was hired for. His new colleagues then worked diligently to help him and open doors. Through them, he found WorkPlace, which prepares employees for gainful careers and helps match them with employers. Ahmad is now employed at Kubtec as a Production Assistant Trainee.Hosay found employment at Foundation Source working in HR and Client Operations. She has already been promoted and now has some bookkeeping responsibilities.Basmina had a number of false starts and disappointments, as her credentials as a doctor in Afghanistan are very hard to convert to the US. Nonetheless, Kubtec understood her value and has hired her, again with the backing of WorkPlace, teach doctors how to use their medical imaging equipment.All the adults who wanted to work are now employed. The eleven-member family is now on firm financial footing.The last need to help the family with this employment success story is a car. Both Hosay and Ahmad have passed their driver’s tests. If anyone has an automobile that they can donate to this refugee family that is working so hard now in America and our community, it would be so appreciated. Please reply to this email if you are able to assist with this critical need.In addition, the children continue to enjoy Black Rock school and are making progress there and with their tutors. Our summer priority is to get the kids into swim lessons and continue their academic support.Now that IRRC has met all the critical milestones, we are beginning a discernment process for how best to build on our success. This includes a discernment of family and individual priorities, what we can and should contribute to while balancing this with the needs of Afghans who have yet to be resettled or who remain in temporary housing.Every single one of us should be proud of the many members of Temple Israel — and all our participating institutions — who have helped our Afghan refugees and start their new life in our community.May they go from strength to strength!L’shalom,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear friends,Cantor Cadrain’s installation last month was focused on a core text of our tradition, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” We all want to find ways to bring this treasured teaching to life.Temple Israel’s Caring Community is a volunteer group committed to caring for those in our community who are in need of assistance. Our Caring Community volunteers provide meals to congregants who are ill or in mourning, visit the sick or homebound, send condolence cards to those who have suffered a loss, pick up congregants to drive them to TI for Shabbat, and so much more.Just as we, your clergy and staff, are here for you at times of celebration and times of difficulty, our Caring Community is here for you as well. In fact, every day our volunteers make our special community more sacred.We invite you to join us. Simply respond to this email to join our team of Caring Community volunteers. As you see, there are so many ways to help! If you would like to be a part of any of these efforts or have an idea for a new way the Caring Community can make an impact, please reach out to me, or our Caring Community Chair, Jennifer Rubin.We look forward to working together to continue to provide for each other in as many ways as possible.With gratitude,
Rabbi Zachary A. Plesent -
Dear Friends,In high school I had a close friend named Jonah. Jonah didn’t take the expected path in life. He tried college, dropped out, landed a job at a hotel, bounced around, followed Phish, got into music, formed a band, toured around the country. Every few years Jonah would get in touch and we’d talk by phone or text for a bit. Recently we reconnected and got together for dinner with a few other high school friends. It was the first time that we had seen each other in 20 years.I learned so much from talking with Jonah that night. His winding and untraditional path has made him highly self-aware, given him sincere depth of character, instilled a deep sense of gratitude, and made him intensely kind. He is an expert musician. He owns a successful business. I admire Jonah tremendously.Jonah is the protagonist of his own narrative. He may not have followed the path that others would have chosen for him. His parents had certain expectations: that he would go to college, get a degree, take a mainstream job. The rest of our friends – including me – all followed a normative path. All these years later we can clearly see that Jonah is the hero of his own story. He is a full human being, a mensch.We Jews have always been at our best when we take hold of our own narrative, when we are the heroes of our own story.How did we escape slavery in Egypt? All throughout the Exodus narrative there are Jews who step up to be protagonists of our story. The midwives defy Pharaoh’s order to kill Jewish babies. Yocheved places her infant son Moses in a basket and floats him down the Nile at just the right time and place. When he grows up Moses strikes down the Egyptian taskmaster, signaling to God that he was the one to be chosen to free his people. When we arrive at the sea and are caught between the waters ahead and Pharaoh’s army behind, a leader named Nachshon walked into the water, beckoned everyone else to follow, and the sea split. Time and again individuals stepped up to be the protagonist of our collective story. They refused to follow the script others had expected of them. And they brought us to redemption.How did the State of Israel come to be? Those who envisioned and founded the State of Israel could no longer stand to continue down the millennia-old path in which we were guests subject to the whim of our hosts. Thus Zionism is the assertion that we Jews will write our own story upon the world stage. It is nothing less than us seizing the right be the protagonists of our own destiny.Why are we so proud of Volodymyr Zelensky? Because when the Biden Administration offered him an escape route out of Ukraine he insisted on staying. In doing so he placed himself at the center of his own – and his people’s – narrative. He thus garnered the support of his entire nation and the sympathy of the entire world.We are at our worst when we allow ourselves to be swept away by events, without control or agency. We are at our best when we endeavor to be the protagonist of our own story.May we each be more like my friend Jonah. May we more often refuse to follow the expected path when we know it will not suit us. May we explore more freely, without a particular destination in mind. May we focus more on cultivating our best personal qualities rather than accomplishments to be listed on a resume.Thank you, Jonah, for coming back into my life. And thank you for reminding me how to live life well.L’shalom,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,The right to choose is a Jewish value.Jewish principles on this issue can be found as far back as the Torah. In Exodus the case of someone who causes a pregnant woman to miscarry is explicitly not charged with murder. In later Jewish medical ethics law, reaching back more than 1000 years, this position is solidified with the principle that the full status of personhood begins at first breath.This issue has also been at the forefront of Reform Judaism for decades. Long before Roe v Wade was ever decided, our movement had a practice of issuing statements, policy positions and amicus briefs in support of reproductive choice. Our strong support for the right to choose continues to this day.As troubled as we are about the anticipated Supreme Court decision that was leaked last week, we are resolute in our position on this issue. Furthermore, we are committed to acting in support of the right to choose. We, your clergy team, are grateful that the right to an abortion is codified law here in Connecticut and are ready to lead in protection both of the right to choose and those who choose to exercise that right.This past weekend, we had an incredible Shabbat filled with celebration and love, where we read the command, kedoshim t’hiyu, “and you shall be holy.” Today we choose to translate this command in the future tense: “You will be holy.” Our world will be more holy when every person has autonomy of their body, access to quality medical care, and the freedom to choose. Slowly but surely, we will work together to bring more holiness into this world.L’shalom,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman
Cantor Julia Cadrain
Rabbi Elana Nemitoff-Bresler
Rabbi Zachary A. Plesent -
Dear Friends,My heart is still full of gratitude after our amazing TI Mitzvah Day. Mitzvah Day is a TI program where we invite our entire community to join together and support others in need. Many of those we help live in our surrounding communities and even across the globe. This year we were blessed to have an intergenerational group of volunteers participate and help make our day so successful.
Thank you to:- Our Social Action committee for all their dedication – and in particular Allyson Gottlieb, who spearheaded the entire day. If you’d like to join our Social Action committee please email me.
- Our TI congregants who donated supplies or made a financial contribution to our Social Action Fund.
- All the local businesses who donated supplies.
- Our incredible TI members and families who volunteered their time.
Chazak, chazak, v’nitchazeik – Be strong, be strong, and we will strengthen one another.What we accomplished:- 10,000 meals donated to Ukrainian refugees through The Outreach Program
- 200 hospital bags via Brady’s Smile
- Dozens of lap blankets, walker bags, potted plants, and centerpieces donated to Jewish Senior Services and Weston Senior Center
- 100 blessing/toiletry bags for Bridgeport Rescue Mission
- 12 lasagnas baked and delivered to Homes with Hope
- 100 lunch bags for Gillespie Center
- 30 Mother’s Day cards for Pink Posse
- 50 cards and letters delivered to US service members and IDF lone soldiers
Stephanie Schwartz
Director of Programming and Member Engagement -
Dear Friends,Last week Passover, Easter and Ramadan coincided for the first time in decades. Thus I was delighted to attend an interfaith Iftar dinner at Bridgeport Islamic Community Center. Over the past few years the congregation has become one of the largest mosques in Connecticut and a significant partner in the interfaith social justice work of Congregations Organized for a New Connecticut (CONECT). Most importantly, BICC was celebrating the recent addition of Eid al-Fitr – the most significant Muslim holy day of the year – to the Bridgeport school district calendar.Mostafa Hassan, one of the lay leaders of BICC, has led this effort on behalf of his community for several years. Mostafa and I co-chaired a significant CONECT assembly in January 2020 and have since become friends. When I spoke with him in December he was clearly dejected. His work on this issue seemed to be going nowhere. After months of conversations the Bridgeport school board had declined to consider observing Eid al-Fitr. As I considered Mostafa’s frustration, I recalled that our own Temple Israel congregants had waged a similar campaign not that long ago.Certain Temple Israel members have told me that when they moved to town (not so long ago) the school district didn’t observe Jewish holidays. Over the course of several years, they worked with the Westport and Weston school districts to add Jewish holidays to the calendar. This decision made our neighborhoods a place where Jewish life could thrive. As our member Cindy Zuckerbrod wrote to the Bridgeport leadership, “As Jews, we know all too well just how difficult it is to make the decision to send our Jewish children to school on holidays that we would normally spend in synagogue and with our families. When I moved to Westport 30 years ago I faced that dilemma, and decided to keep my children home even though they could potentially miss important work at school.”Simply put, no one should have to choose between their faith and their children’s education. I told Mostafa that our congregation would strongly support his effort, and would show up whenever he needed us to. His dream on behalf of the Muslim community was the same as that of our own congregants’ 30 years ago.On April 11, thanks to the efforts of Mostafa and other Bridgeport leaders, including a proud class of 8th grade students at Park City Magnet School (click here for video), and supported by Temple Israel congregants and others in the CONECT community, Eid al-Fitr was established as a school holiday beginning with the 2023-24 academic year.Jewish life doesn’t happen just by accident. And neither does Muslim life. It happens thanks to leaders like Mostafa Hassan, Cindy Zuckerbrod, and other supporters who stand up for their community.May the Muslim community here in Connecticut thrive. And may we enjoy many more celebratory interfaith Iftar dinners together.L’shalom,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,Our family gathered at my cousins’ apartment on the Upper West Side. Twenty-six of us – grandparents and parents, aunts and uncles, cousins and siblings – came to from London, California, Boston and elsewhere to gather in Manhattan. Due to the pandemic, some of us had not seen each other in a very long time. Joyous greetings were shared, with gratitude that we were able to gather in good health this year.As I began to lead the seder I choked up. The moment was emotional for so many reasons. The preciousness of family moments, whose significance heightens with each passing year. The memory of past generations whose presence on this night was keenly felt. The closeness of my children, now old enough to understand the story, sing the songs, and ask wonderful questions. The knowledge that Jews around the world were at that very moment also sitting down around a table to enjoy food resonant with symbolism and memory, to ask questions, and most importantly to tell our story. In fact, our sages decreed that the basic ingredients of a seder are simply telling the story and asking a question. Everything else is laudable, but superfluous.We tell our story so that the next generation might know and appreciate from where they came.We tell our story as a reminder to ourselves that in a world parched by oppression our mission is to “let justice flow like water.”We tell our story to assuage the kernel of fear that the most powerful story of redemption ever told might one day be forgotten.We tell our story to assert our uniqueness in a world continually trying to either erase us or assimilate us.Goldie and George had been learning the story for weeks here at TI’s ECC. And they had a lot of questions.Questions about human nature: Why did the Egyptians make us work so hard? Why was Pharaoh so mean? Why did Pharaoh change his mind?Questions about God: Why was God in a bush? Why did God make the plagues? Why did God make the first-born children get sick?Questions about being Jewish: Why did the plagues not come to our houses? Is Elijah going to visit us? Why do we eat this smelly fish? Can we go find the afikoman now?I pray that the sweetness of this seder will stay with me for a long time. And I pray that the stories, questions and memories of your seder will likewise sustain you on this journey toward redemption that we call life.L’shalom,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,I have a friend who said yes when he was asked to serve an early-morning breakfast at a soup kitchen. He showed up that day, then agreed to come back again. Soon I learned that he was showing up – at 6am! – every single Thursday. I asked him, incredulously, how he did it. “Simple, I put it on my calendar. And if it’s on my calendar, I show up.”My friend had turned a difficult task into nothing more than regular calendar appointment. He made a mitzvah a habit. And in doing so he served hundreds of meals to hungry people each month.One of the first Jewish teachings I remember learning is mitzvah goreret mitzvah, “one mitzvah follows another.” When I was young, I thought of this as a Jewish version of karma – that mitzvot are a kind of pay-it-forward, good-for-the-universe kind of thing.Later I came to understand that the Jewish people has suffered enough to know that good deeds do not necessarily lead to rewards. Karma is decidedly NOT a Jewish value.Maimonides and the rabbis of the Mussar tradition teach that being an ethical person is all about cultivating the right habits. Thus, mitzvah goreret mitzvah is about cultivating the habit of doing good, like my friend did.For example, it may take some strength to commit to visiting a patient in the hospital for the first time. The experience feels uncomfortable. But now that you’ve done it once, it will feel a little less uncomfortable the next time. And the time after that you might feel right at home.While mitzvot are assuredly a 365-day-a-year commitment for all of us, at Temple Israel we have one day devoted to the habit of cultivating mitzvot here in our community. I invite you to join me and my family for Mitzvah Day on Sunday, May 1 at 10:30am-1pm. There will be hands-on projects available for everyone, across all ages and demographics of our congregation. Together we will prepare meals for the homeless, wrap presents for children in the hospital, make gifts for homebound seniors, and so much more.Please join us in making mitzvot a habit in our community.With wishes for a sweet Passover,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,This spring marks two highly significant anniversaries in our Jewish world.One hundred years ago Judith Kaplan became the first bat mitzvah in Jewish history. “No thunder sounded. No lighting struck,” Kaplan later said of that Shabbat in March, 1922. Nonetheless, she forged a path for every woman who ascends the bima to read from a Torah scroll and take on the responsibilities and privileges of Jewish adulthood.Fifty years ago Rabbi Sally Priesand became the first ordained female rabbi in Jewish history. She was ordained in 1972 at Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion (where all of Temple Israel’s clergy were similarly ordained) in Cincinnati, alongside 35 male classmates. While Kaplan’s accomplishment was a one-time event, Rabbi Priesand experienced “the unbelievable and almost unbearable pressures of being the first woman rabbi” each and every day. She continues to be a groundbreaking hero to all of us who have been ordained in the past half-century.I was raised with the conviction that there is nothing in the world that a woman cannot do. My mother made sure we understood that. So did my synagogue. Soon after Cantor Barbara Ostfeld was ordained by HUC-JIR as the first ordained female cantor in Jewish history she was hired by my childhood synagogue, Temple Beth-El of Great Neck, in 1976. Our congregation hired its first female rabbi, Rabbi Deborah Hirsch in 1982. They were succeeded by Rabbi Susie Moskowitz and Rabbi Karen Bender, both of whom were incredible rabbis. These noteworthy Jewish leaders shaped my Jewish life, my development as a human being and my path to the rabbinate.How can we ensure that we never lose appreciation for the courage and bravery of those women who forged a new path in Jewish life? As next Friday’s seder approaches, I encourage you to place an orange the seder plate. Susannah Heschel added an orange to the traditional matzah, maror and other Pesach symbols to signify the inclusion of women and LGBTQ individuals in Jewish life. For my family, celebrating Passover without an orange is now unthinkable – just as Jewish life without bat mitzvah, female rabbis or female cantors would be.At this season of freedom, may we honor these milestone anniversaries. And may we always strive to open the doors and broaden the boundaries of our Jewish community.B’shalom,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,“I’m going to be Haman in the Purim shpiel,” I told Goldie and George last week.“Why do you have to be the bad guy?” they wanted to know. I assured them that it would all be in good fun and that next year I might be Mordechai, Esther or Vashti.Goldie considered my answer with great concern and asked, “Are you still going to be the bad guy after the show?”No matter our age, we all love stories that have clear good guys and bad guys. In the Purim story, it’s Mordechai (yay!) vs Haman (boo!). Soon we’ll read the Passover story of Moses (yay!) vs Pharaoh (boo!). And day by day we watch Zelensky (yay!) vs Putin (boo!). Such narratives are neat and easy.However, a close reading of the Book of Esther makes it evident that Mordechai and Haman are not as diametrically opposed as we might imagine. In fact, they seem to trade places often. For example, Haman plans a parade intending to celebrate himself, but Mordechai turns out to be the honored hero riding Haman’s horse through Shushan. Mordechai ultimately takes Haman’s place as Prime Minister and wears his ring. Most significantly, Haman ends up hanged on the gallows he intended for Mordechai.Why does the Book of Esther seem to sully the name of the hero Mordechai? Why does it seem to rehabilitate the name of the villain, Haman?The Jewish view of humanity is that nobody is perfect. We do not venerate saints. Our tradition has no room for perfect people who never do anything wrong. Rather our heroes are deeply flawed, and thus all the more human.Abraham sends his older son off to die of thirst in the desert (God saves him) and takes his younger son up a mountain intending to sacrifice him. Jacob swindles his brother and deceives his father to gain the birthright. Moses is prone to bouts of anger, killing a taskmaster, striking the rock to get water (instead of speaking to it as God told him to), and smashing the tablets of the Ten Commandments upon seeing the Golden Calf. Miriam and Aaron spread rumors about their brother Moses.Our tradition has no room for perfect people who never do anything wrong. Rather our heroes are deeply flawed, and thus deeply human.The same goes for all of us. Each of us may make the mistake of being the “bad guy” from time to time. Sometimes we get tired and frustrated. Sometimes we’re selfish. Sometimes we get short with those we love. All of this is inevitable, simply because we’re human.No one can be the good guy 100% of the time. In our tradition, that person simply doesn’t exist.The challenge for each of us is, how quickly can we remove the costume and resume playing the “good guy?” The true test of our character is our ability to make teshuvah, to return being to the person we truly aim to be.L’shalom,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,In recent days many of you have written to me about the tragic war in Ukraine. You have shared words that are powerful and heartfelt:“Ukraine is a place where we have ties that are both strong and painful.”“While there have been wars and conflicts during our lifetime, this is very different. The heartbreak of what is happening in Ukraine is agonizing to watch. The helplessness feels overwhelming. I’m afraid of what is to come and the human toll that will befall those remaining behind.”“The simplicity and ease of our lives – brushing our teeth, having potable running water, turning on lights, controlling the temperature in our homes, running for exercise and not because we are being chased, we can never take for granted. What horrors for those poor people in Ukraine.”Congregant Jenny Pastor wrote to me, saying “When we watch the news we all ask, ‘How can I help?’ This is how.” She then told me about Tikva Odessa, an organization in Ukraine that serves at-risk orphaned, mentally ill, disabled or food insecure Jewish children. “These children were vulnerable before the war, and are now even more so,” Jenny noted.Thus, Temple Israel is launching a collection for the children of Tikva Odessa. If you are inclined, you may purchase items from the suggested list below. Collection boxes will be available at the school entrance to Temple Israel starting tomorrow morning. We will organize, box, and label the donations and ship to a central office in New Jersey; and from there everything will be sent abroad. Alternatively, you may make a tzedakah contribution to the World Union for Progressive Judaism, American Jewish Joint Distribution Committee, or our local Federation for Jewish Philanthropy.Last week Ukraine’s President Zelensky called upon Jews around the world to take note of the violence in Ukraine, and use our good fortune to help in some way. May we each respond to his challenge in a meaningful way.L’shalom,
Rabbi Michael S. FriedmanSuggested Items for DonationBaby ItemsDiapersFormulaBottlesToddler and kidsUnderwearPajamasSocksSneakersSweaters/sweatshirtsGeneral ItemsBlanketsBand-aidsMedical TapeShampoo and SoapTowelsGarbage BagsToys and Art SuppliesCrayonsMarkersPaperColoring books -
Dear Friends,Our most treasured principles are more than rules for how to live. They are aspirations for the world we wish to see: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” “Pursue justice relentlessly.” “Beat your swords into plowshares and spears into pruning hooks.” These principles do not describe the world as it is today, they are a vision of what the world might yet become. In fact, we could even say that all of Jewish life is an attempt to create the society that should exist, but does not yet. The clash between the world that exists in our dreams and the world that exists in reality sometimes hurts us so very deeply.As Jews, Russia’s invasion of Ukraine affects us in two ways.First, the deep sense of interconnectedness among all Jews around the world is a hallmark of Jewish life. Many of us at Temple Israel have ties to the Jewish community in Ukraine. Our congregation supported the Reform congregation in Lviv, Ukraine during Rabbi Orkand’s tenure. Several of our congregants have visited Ukraine on Jewish heritage trips, seeking to connect to their roots there. And I’ve heard Cantor Cadrain speak about her own experience leading Passover seders in Ukrainian Jewish communities.Thus I’m grateful to the members of our congregation who have reached out asking how best to support the Jewish community of Ukraine during this terrifying period. There are two ways you can help fellow Jews who are in danger:
- The American Jewish Joint Distribution Committee (JDC) is providing humanitarian assistance to Jewish families and seniors in Ukraine. Donate here.
- The World Union for Progressive Judaism (WUPJ) has launched a Ukraine Crisis Fund to ensure the safety and well-being of Jewish individuals and Jewish communities. Donate here.
Second, Vladimir Putin justified the invasion in part by calling for the “denazification” of Ukraine. This word was targeted at one person in particular: President Volodymyr Zelensky, who is Jewish. In essence, the Jewish identity of the president of Ukraine was justification enough for Russia to invade. This should impact us to our core.The world we inhabit is too often cold and dark. Yet the ultimate Jewish act is to hold fast to a compelling vision of the world we aim to create, even in the face of the world that exists at this moment.L’shalom – with prayers for peace,Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,About a decade ago I was invited to give the invocation at a major charity event at the Waldorf-Astoria in Manhattan. When I arrived they ushered me backstage and I met the event’s emcee, Whoopi Goldberg. We had a nice chat and then Whoopi went onstage and kicked off the event with a 10-minute riff on the “nice young rabbi I met backstage.” Her bit was respectful, friendly, and of course very funny.As you all know by now, last week Whoopi made some very troubling comments about the Holocaust. She said that the Holocaust was “not about race,” in part because “white people” were involved.First, her comments were historically inaccurate. The Nazis very clearly defined the Jewish people as a race – specifically, a sub-human race. That definition was foundational to their perpetration of the Holocaust.Second, her comments were dangerous. The Holocaust was about the systematic extermination of the Jewish people. To define it in any other terms is dangerous, especially as antisemitic lies and Holocaust denial spread insidiously around the globe. I believe that one of our greatest Jewish responsibilities today is to ensure that the world knows that the Holocaust was specifically the organized murder of the Jewish people. The Jewish uproar against Whoopi was justified because it is up to us to ensure that the correct and legitimate narrative about the Holocaust is perpetuated.Whoopi’s comments also occasioned important Jewish conversations about race. There is much to say on this topic.We Jews have never defined ourselves as a race. We call ourselves a people, a tribe, a religion, a faith community … but never a race. There are many reasons for this but one salient example is that of conversion. For thousands of years we have invited people to become Jewish and welcomed them wholeheartedly into our families and our community. Conversely, one cannot convert into a race; one simply cannot become Black, Asian, Hispanic or any other traditional racial category. Thus our own definition of what it means to be Jewish is incongruous with the racial categories as society has defined them.Others have have defined us as a race, and they have done so only in order to destroy us. In fact, racial definitions have always been imposed upon groups from the outside. These definitions have always been imposed with the intention of subjecting the people in question to mistreatment, and they have always had negative consequences upon the targeted group. We should never allow Hitler to define us. The sole positive remnant of Hitler’s racial definition can be found in Israel’s Law of Return, the fundamental law of the State of Israel which guarantees safety to anyone who the Nazis classified and persecuted as Jewish.I have empathy for Whoopi. I understand that she was speaking as a black woman, with a certain lived experience and view of the world. (While Whoopi has said that she identifies as Jewish, it is not clear to me that she has actually become Jewish.)I was also impressed by the speed and sincerity of her apology. As Rabbi David-Seth Kirshner wrote, “Within hours of The View, Whoopi made a full-throated, unabashed apology. She did not dig in her heels nor double down on her initial statement. She apologized for hurt she caused, acknowledged she misspoke and caused pain. She demonstrated openness to learning about how better to craft her thoughts and words related to this topic in the future. Whoopi tweeted this apology to her millions of followers. She then opened The View the next day with her apology and hosted the head of the Anti-Defamation League to discuss the proper context of the Holocaust and race for future conversations. During the entire segment, Whoopi was contrite, remorseful, and humble.”According to Jewish tradition, Whoopi’s actions were sufficient to qualify as full teshuvah. ABC was thus unjustified in suspending her for two weeks. In fact, in suspending her, they were inhibiting her from accomplishing the final step of teshuvah: not repeating one’s mistake. In Whoopi’s case that would have involved remaining on the air, continuing to discuss significant topics freely, and addressing Jewish history and the Holocaust in a different manner the next time she has the chance.I would like to see Whoopi have that opportunity sometime soon. She certainly has earned the right.L’shalom,
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
Dear Friends,There is much to learn following last Saturday’s horrifying attack on the synagogue in Colleyville, Texas. I note especially the heroic actions of Rabbi Charlie Cytron-Walker and I deeply appreciate the swift, diligent and highly-coordinated response of law enforcement. That said, the most crucial insight to emerge from this incident was provided by hostage Jeffrey Cohen who said, “We weren’t rescued or freed. We escaped.”In the end, it was up to the hostages themselves – Jews who several hours earlier had gone to shul simply to pray – to save their own lives.This exact same story has played out time after time across Jewish history. Our ancestor Joseph was thrown into a pit, then sold into slavery and finally imprisoned by his master. He uses his own creativity, ingenuity and bravery to free himself, and ends up saving his entire family.I have often wondered why we are commanded to remember Amalek, the tribe who attacked us on our journey through the desert, preying on the weakest among us. No other tribe intervened on our behalf; it was up to us to protect ourselves. Perhaps that is precisely the reason we’re commanded to remember.We were slaves in Egypt for 400 years. Our tradition teaches that only when we cried out in pain did God begin to set the wheels of redemption in motion. In other words, we needed to take responsibility for ourselves and our own fate before we could expect God to act on our behalf.Last week also happened to be the 80th anniversary of the Wannsee Conference, at which the leaders of the Third Reich meticulously planned the extermination of European Jewry. It is a chilling anniversary, to be sure. And it made me wonder, When is the anniversary of the conference to save the Jews? When did the nations of the world get together to decide that they would intervene and safeguard us? Never. Such a thing has never happened.No one will save us but us.Fortunately there are surely times when we have taken our fate into our own capable hands. This year marks the 125th anniversary of the First Zionist Congress, which outlined a nation-state for the Jewish people. And each May 14 we celebrate the day on which leaders gathered in Tel Aviv under the pressure of foreign invasion to declare the independence of the State of Israel.Some religious groups believe that a messiah is coming to redeem the world. But we Jews do not wait for redemption. No one is coming to save us.Instead, we take our own steps to fix the world. And only when the world is worthy of being redeemed will a messianic era begin. Redemption will come when we take steps to make it so. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.In that vein, Temple Israel will be offering safety and security training to all interested congregants, so that each of us might have the training and wherewithal to act, should the situation arise. We are in the process of scheduling this training and will let you know about the date and time as soon as possible.Adonai oz le-amo yitein – God, give strength to Your people Israel, now and always.
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman
2021
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Dear Friends,The first time I walked through the doors of Temple Israel, my mind was humming with jittery -excitement. Absolutely everything — the building, the town, the people, my title — was new for me. As I opened my eyes wide to take it in, a small rainbow flag in our entryway caught my eye. It was the answer to a question I didn’t know I’d been asking: Will I be accepted here? Its multi-colored hues sent a message of welcome and safety, and an answer: Yes, you are invited to bring your full self to this place.I was recently interviewed by CT Voices Magazine for an article called “Have Faith: How LGBTQ+ Clergy are welcoming us home for the holidays.” I speak about the rainbow flag in our entryway, and about my pride in my family. I mention my wife, Elana Arian, and our two children, and how I love to talk about them in my work. Whenever I mention my wife, I am aware of the possibility that the person to whom I’m speaking could be surprised, or even disapproving. Thankfully, I am usually met with responses ranging from neutrality to warmth. No matter the reaction, I commit to sharing openly about who I love. My hope is that by doing so, I give others permission to do the same.I am proud to be part of such an open and embracing spiritual community, and grateful to all of you for making it so. Thank you for bringing your full selves to this place, and fostering a culture of loving inclusivity. If you are curious to learn more about the article, here is the link.Sending you light in these dark days,
Cantor Julia Cadrain -
Dear Friends,I have always wondered why we read the story of our ancestor Joseph in the midst of Chanukah. Joseph develops a reputation as a man who can interpret dreams. When Pharaoh is beset by nightmares, Joseph deduces that his dreams foretell seven years of plenty followed by seven years of famine. He advises Pharaoh to store up excess grain during the seven plentiful years, and then there will be enough to feed Egypt during the lean years. The Torah tells us, “Joseph stored up grain in great abundance, like the sand of the seashore, until he ceased to measure it, for it was beyond number.”What exactly was the problem Joseph solved? Our sages point out that surely the Egyptians – founders of one of the world’s great civilizations – could have figured out how to save some grain each year so that they would have enough to eat in leaner years. So Joseph’s solution was not one of agriculture or economics. Rather, our sages teach, the secret to Joseph’s wisdom lies in the interesting way the verse is framed. The Egyptians had so much grain that it was “beyond number.” Their abundance had reached a point that they could no longer count their riches and no longer had healthy perspective on their good fortune. The Egyptians saw how much grain they possessed but had lost their ability to appreciate abundance.We too live in a culture of so much. We too struggle to appreciate our abundance. At this season I like to ask our Kesher students, “Did you give any good gifts this Chanukah?” They are usually stumped by this unexpected question, and I hope it helps nudge them toward a shift perspective. Our sages ask, “Who is rich? One who is happy with exactly what they have.” Abundance is not about having more; it’s about cultivating an appreciation for what one already has.Rabbi Eliyahu Safran writes:“Joseph’s lesson is powerful. When there is much, it is nearly impossible to value the singular. When we are awash in plenty, how easy it is to lose sight of the value of “one” – whether a silver coin, a cotton shirt, a wedding band, or a human being. After all, there is always another “one” if something happens. If I lose my iPhone, I can always get another. If my marriage fails, I can always remarry. Hah! My next iPhone will be better, with more features! So too my next marriage!”Joseph’s insight is in fact the perfect lesson for Chanukah.Let us treasure the singular items that are of greatest value: photos from years gone by, heirlooms passed to us by our grandparents, a special note from a dear friend, a prized sweatshirt from camp.Let us think of gift-giving not as a chore, but rather as an opportunity to appreciate our abundance of resources with which we can act generously toward family, friends and colleagues.Let us learn from Joseph, cultivating an appreciation for our abundance, “like the sand of the seashore, whose measure is beyond number.”Chag sameach,Rabbi Michael S. Friedman
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Dear Friends,I have always been very proud of the breadth and depth of our congregation’s social justice commitments. At this season of Thanksgiving and Chanukah, as the pandemic continues to ease, we know that there are many of you who want to re-engage with TI’s many social justice opportunities.
- Mitzvah Day is Sunday, May 1. We are seeking volunteers to plan and organize this day of generosity and mitzvot across our community. Please email Rabbi Plesent at zplesent@tiwestport.org.
- TI will help serve Thanksgiving and Christmas meals through Gillespie Center, Westport’s downtown shelter and soup kitchen. Register here.
- Our congregation has a long-standing commitment to serve dinner each Tuesday evening at Gillespie Center. Sign up for an upcoming Tuesday here.
- Give A Night of Chanukah invites families to direct one night of generosity to tzedakah. More information can be found here.
- Our Interfaith Refugee Resettlement Committee just welcomed two Afghan families including 8 adults, 3 children and one baby on the way. To join our refugee resettlement volunteers, please email refugees@tiwestport.org.
- Congregations Organized for a New Connecticut (CONECT) will celebrate a decade of building relationships and using our power to create substantive change in our community by holding its 10th Anniversary Action Event on Tuesday, Nov 30 at 7pm at Mt. Aery Baptist Church in Bridgeport. You may register here to attend in person or on Zoom.
Each night as we light our Chanukah menorah we thank God for making miracles for our ancestors at this season many years ago. Let us create our own miracles of justice, kindness and hope here and now.Chag sameach,Rabbi Michael S. Friedman -
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