Dear Families,
Mazal tov on reaching this step of the b’nei mitzvah process! Our goals for b’nei mitzvah at Temple Israel are simple: we want each student to complete their b’nei mitzvah feeling, “proud to be you, and proud to be a Jew.” We also love to build enduring relationships with your child so that they feel connected to our congregation and remain engaged in Jewish life through their teenage years and beyond.
Your main point of contact for scheduling appointments, rehearsals and general questions is our B’nei Mitzvah Coordinator Erin Simon: esimon@tiwestport.org, or 203-227-1293 x302.
You may reach your clergy at the emails below:
Rabbi Michael S. Friedman: mfriedman@tiwestport.org
Cantor Julia Cadrain: jcadrain@tiwestport.org
Rabbi Elana Nemitoff-Bresler: enemitoffbresler@tiwestport.org
Rabbi Zachary Plesent: zplesent@tiwestport.org
Cantor Becky Mann: bmann@tiwestport.org
We are here for you every step of the way, and look forward to sharing this journey with you.
Mazel Tov,
Our B’nei Mitzvah Values
SUPPORT
We’re with you every step of the way. We will support you throughout this process to ensure your experience is meaningful, positive, and empowering.
INCLUSION
We believe in welcoming all people across orientation, gender identity, background and ability. We accommodate various learning needs, and welcome interfaith families, and all types of family constellations to participate fully in the process.
TRADITION & INNOVATION
We treasure tradition and embrace innovation. Together, we will discover what meaning the ancient words of Torah have for us today in our own lives.
PERSPECTIVE
B’nei mitzvah is a milestone highlight, though it is but one highlight of many within your larger Jewish journey.
B’nei Mitzvah Timeline
5th Grade
Receive date assignment letter |
Thanksgiving Weekend |
Torah Family Program |
Winter |
Tefilah (Prayer) family program |
Spring |
6th Grade
Hopes, Fears, Memories Family program |
Fall |
Mitzvah Family program |
Spring |
7th Grade
B’nei Mitzvah Orientation |
8-10 months before |
Weekly tutoring begins |
5-6 months before |
Haftarah Workshop |
3-6 months before |
Clergy meetings begin |
3 months before |
Sanctuary rehearsals |
3 weeks before |
Shabbat honors |
Friday night before |
B’nei Mitzvah Tutoring
Tutoring Sessions
We offer 20 one-on-one sessions with a tutor. We ask that parents attend the first session, so parents can be engaged with the process and have a chance to ask questions. If you believe that more than 20 sessions will be needed, please reach out to our B’nei Mitzvah Coordinator, Erin Simon, at esimon@tiwestport.org, to let her know.
Practicing
We expect learners to practice 15 minutes a day. Tutoring is intended as a supplement to independent learning.
Attendance
If you need to reschedule a tutoring session, please reach out to your tutor directly at least 48 hours prior to the scheduled lesson. Late cancellations or no shows count towards your 20 lessons.
Summer Tutoring
We set up the tutoring schedule assuming no tutoring or new learning will happen during the summer months. If you would like to opt in to summer tutoring, we ask that you communicate directly with your tutor about scheduling and rate.
Each student is expected to…
-
Continue to regularly attend Kesher.
-
Attend Shabbat services as often as possible (we love to see you there!).
-
Practice daily for 15-20 minutes. Students may access all materials via their google drive folder, which we will share with you when tutoring begins.
-
Chant approximately 12 verses of Torah and approximately 5 verses of Haftarah. Generally, each student should master about one verse (one sentence) of Torah or Haftarah per week.
-
Craft and present a D’var Torah, sharing their own insights on the weekly Torah portion.
-
Give back to your community by completing a Tikkun Olam Project. You may access a list of Tikkun Olam Project ideas and organizations here. We ask that learners complete this form to let us know about their choice, before their first tutoring session.
How can I make bar/bat mitzvah a meaningful experience?
-
Determine why this Jewish milestone is so significant to you. In other words, Why are you doing this? Then discuss your answers with your child. Encourage your child to come up with their own answers as well.
-
Take a look at your child’s Torah portion (in English). Discuss it as a family. What themes do you see in the text? How might the portion relate to your family’s values? Are there parts of the portion that you strongly agree with? Parts that trouble you? There really are no wrong answers. Your rabbis will guide your child through the process of writing a D’var Torah, but conversation about the content of the portion can only deepen your family’s experience.
-
Attend Shabbat services at Temple Israel, or via our livestream. Our services are filled with joyous music and compelling messages about our world. Most importantly, Shabbat is a time to be together as a family without the distraction of screens or the burden of to-do lists. We think you’ll love it. It’s also the best way for your child (and you!) to become familiar with the service your child will be leading.
Family Honors
-
Family and friends may be honored with an aliyah — the blessing before and after reading the Torah. Generally you will have three aliyot, each which can be parceled out to a small group (ie, grandparents and aunts and uncles). The bar/bat mitzvah has the honor of the fourth aliyah.
-
An aliyah form is provided in your google folder. Please return your completed aliyah form at least two weeks before your child’s bar/bat mitzvah.
-
Grandparents and parents are invited to participate in the passing of the Torah scroll from generation to generation.
-
Younger siblings may have the honor of reading an English prayer for peace.
-
Older siblings may have the honor of an aliyah, or of lifting the Torah scroll.